Back If You Want to Make God Laugh
Chapters (103)
  1. Cover
  2. ALSO BY BIANCA MARAIS
  3. Dedication
  4. Map
  5. CHAPTER ONE
  6. CHAPTER TWO
  7. CHAPTER THREE
  8. CHAPTER FOUR
  9. CHAPTER FIVE
  10. CHAPTER SIX
  11. CHAPTER SEVEN
  12. CHAPTER EIGHT
  13. CHAPTER NINE
  14. CHAPTER TEN
  15. CHAPTER ELEVEN
  16. CHAPTER TWELVE
  17. CHAPTER THIRTEEN
  18. CHAPTER FOURTEEN
  19. CHAPTER FIFTEEN
  20. CHAPTER SIXTEEN
  21. CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
  22. CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
  23. CHAPTER NINETEEN
  24. CHAPTER TWENTY
  25. CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
  26. CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
  27. CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
  28. CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
  29. CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
  30. CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
  31. CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
  32. CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
  33. CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
  34. CHAPTER THIRTY
  35. CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
  36. CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
  37. CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
  38. CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
  39. CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
  40. CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
  41. CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
  42. CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
  43. CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
  44. CHAPTER FORTY
  45. CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
  46. CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
  47. CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
  48. CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
  49. CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
  50. CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
  51. CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
  52. CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
  53. CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
  54. CHAPTER FIFTY
  55. CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
  56. CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO
  57. CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE
  58. CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR
  59. CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE
  60. CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX
  61. CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN
  62. CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT
  63. CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE
  64. CHAPTER SIXTY
  65. CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE
  66. CHAPTER SIXTY-TWO
  67. CHAPTER SIXTY-THREE
  68. CHAPTER SIXTY-FOUR
  69. CHAPTER SIXTY-FIVE
  70. CHAPTER SIXTY-SIX
  71. CHAPTER SIXTY-SEVEN
  72. CHAPTER SIXTY-EIGHT
  73. CHAPTER SIXTY-NINE
  74. CHAPTER SEVENTY
  75. CHAPTER SEVENTY-ONE
  76. CHAPTER SEVENTY-TWO
  77. CHAPTER SEVENTY-THREE
  78. CHAPTER SEVENTY-FOUR
  79. CHAPTER SEVENTY-FIVE
  80. CHAPTER SEVENTY-SIX
  81. CHAPTER SEVENTY-SEVEN
  82. CHAPTER SEVENTY-EIGHT
  83. CHAPTER SEVENTY-NINE
  84. CHAPTER EIGHTY
  85. CHAPTER EIGHTY-ONE
  86. CHAPTER EIGHTY-TWO
  87. CHAPTER EIGHTY-THREE
  88. CHAPTER EIGHTY-FOUR
  89. CHAPTER EIGHTY-FIVE
  90. CHAPTER EIGHTY-SIX
  91. CHAPTER EIGHTY-SEVEN
  92. CHAPTER EIGHTY-EIGHT
  93. CHAPTER EIGHTY-NINE
  94. CHAPTER NINETY
  95. CHAPTER NINETY-ONE
  96. CHAPTER NINETY-TWO
  97. CHAPTER NINETY-THREE
  98. CHAPTER NINETY-FOUR
  99. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  100. GLOSSARY OF TERMS
  101. AUTHOR’S NOTE
  102. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  103. What’s next onyour reading list?

“I’m a woman of many talents.” Ruth winked.

“I don’t doubt it.” We started dishing up, handing each other bowls and gravy, and remarking on how good the food looked. As we started eating, we lapsed into an awkward silence that I tried to fill by blurting out the first thing that came to mind. “Were you really a stripper?”

“Yes.” Ruth laughed, clearly taken aback by the direction the conversation was going in.

“Sorry, it’s none of my business.”

“Not at all. I’ve always preferred people who speak their minds even if what’s on their minds isn’t always appropriate or polite. At least you always know where you stand with them. So, go ahead and ask whatever you want.”

“Okay. You took your clothes off? For your profession?”

“Yes.”

“And you danced with a snake?”

“Sometimes. It was a python called Frank.”

“Frank? Frank the python?”

She shrugged. “What can I say? He looked like Frank Sinatra. Same beady eyes and womanizing tendencies.”

I laughed, feeling some of the tension from my neck ease. “You weren’t scared of it?”

“I was squeamish with it the first few times, but after you’ve had a python crap and pee on you, you come to think of it more as a baby and less as a potentially dangerous animal. The fact that it was so heavy that I had to wheel it around in a pram also helped make me think of it as a baby, though unsuspecting people who peered inside didn’t agree.”

I laughed and took another sip of the champagne, which was growing on me, before I remembered something. “I thought the law at the time prohibited stripping?”

“No, it stated that you couldn’t leave the stage with less clothes than what you came on wearing. So I had to put them back on during the act without it looking like the show was over and I was just hurriedly getting dressed.” She topped up our glasses. “Who told you all this, by the way?”

“Ma wrote me a few letters.”

“I’m sure she had a lot to say about it, though she didn’t have a problem with all the money I sent home since it helped keep the farm afloat.”

And there we were after all the levity, back at the farm, which was the biggest bone of contention between us. “I thought you’d sell the farm after Ma died,” I said.

“No,” Ruth replied. “We wouldn’t have gotten a good price for it, so I rented out the land, which paid for its upkeep. Besides, I promised Da . . .”

“What?”

“Nothing, doesn’t matter.” Ruth looked shifty but I didn’t want to press her on it. I wasn’t interested in anything to do with Da anyway.

“So you made a lot of money? From the stripping?”