BooksBarbecue
Back When I Lost You
Chapters (81)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. Dedication
  4. Prologue
  5. One
  6. Two
  7. Three
  8. Four
  9. Five
  10. Six
  11. Seven
  12. Eight
  13. Nine
  14. Ten
  15. Eleven
  16. Twelve
  17. Thirteen
  18. Fourteen
  19. Fifteen
  20. Sixteen
  21. Seventeen
  22. Eighteen
  23. Nineteen
  24. Twenty
  25. Twenty-one
  26. Twenty-two
  27. Twenty-three
  28. Twenty-four
  29. Twenty-five
  30. Twenty-six
  31. Twenty-seven
  32. Twenty-eight
  33. Twenty-nine
  34. Thirty
  35. Thirty-one
  36. Thirty-two
  37. Thirty-three
  38. Thirty-four
  39. Thirty-five
  40. Thirty-six
  41. Thirty-seven
  42. Thirty-eight
  43. Thirty-nine
  44. Forty
  45. Forty-one
  46. Forty-two
  47. Forty-three
  48. Forty-four
  49. Forty-five
  50. Forty-six
  51. Forty-seven
  52. Forty-eight
  53. Forty-nine
  54. Fifty
  55. Fifty-one
  56. Fifty-two
  57. Fifty-three
  58. Fifty-four
  59. Fifty-five
  60. Fifty-six
  61. Fifty-seven
  62. Fifty-eight
  63. Fifty-nine
  64. Sixty
  65. Sixty-one
  66. Sixty-two
  67. Sixty-three
  68. Sixty-four
  69. Sixty-five
  70. Sixty-six
  71. Sixty-seven
  72. Epilogue
  73. Acknowledgments
  74. Read More
  75. Prologue
  76. One
  77. Two
  78. Three
  79. Four
  80. Follow Merilyn online
  81. Dedication

I follow his finger and see a uniformed officer walk slowly past the café. An orange street light catches the metal on his hat and it glints sharply.

‘We’ll have to wait until he’s gone. I can’t set the fire or he’ll see it and I need her to be good and crisp before they find her. And you can’t be seen with a newborn or they’ll haul you in.’

I feel my heart thud faster. This is my chance. The copper will help me and if I can get to him maybe I can also save the little bit of Aoife I have left.

I hear Alf’s heavy breathing as we crouch in the grass growing tall out of the sand. I could outrun him. I am younger and fitter than him. I look down at the baby to see her nuzzling for food, her mouth turned sideways as she tries to suck milk from the wool of my cardigan.

I suddenly panic. Do they need food straight away? I have no idea what a newborn baby needs only minutes after birth. Am I killing her now by not feeding her, causing her to die in my arms?

The thought makes me stand.

‘Get down,’ Alf hisses.

But I’m done with his demands.

I start to run, trying not to slip or drop the baby, who cries in protest at the sudden movement. I can hear Alf start out behind me so I run faster, slipping slightly on the seaweed as it clings to the rocks.

I reach the steps, taking them two at a time before I slip. The cardigan slides off the baby’s head and she looks at me, surprised.

‘Sorry,’ I whisper, picking myself up. ‘Not long now.’

I glance back to see Alf bent over, hands on his knees, dragging in breaths. I turn again; the copper has almost disappeared behind the café wall.

‘Come on,’ I pull the baby close, ‘let’s go.’

I reach the copper. He looks down at me, at once confused and horrified, and I realise how awful I must look with my face covered in blood – both Aoife’s and mine.

‘Jesus.’

‘Take the baby.’ I can barely speak as the air slices my throat. I look over my shoulder to see Alf climbing the steps; the man follows my stare.

‘Take it,’ I say, shoving her into his arms, arms that instinctively receive her.

‘Make it safe.’

‘Hold on,’ he says as I start to run off. ‘Hold on, you’re safe now.’ He is reaching for his radio, struggling to hold the baby and call for help.

But I will never be safe. Not now, not ever.