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Back This Time Will Be Different
Chapters (77)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. 1
  4. 2
  5. A Series of Screw-ups: The Chisaki Joan Katsuyama Story, Part I
  6. 3
  7. The History of My Beef with Brynn Foer-Preston
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part I
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part I
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part II
  20. 13
  21. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part II
  22. 14
  23. 15
  24. 16
  25. 17
  26. 18
  27. 19
  28. The Complicated History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Imaginary Relationship with Her Nonexistent Dad
  29. 20
  30. 21
  31. 22
  32. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part III
  33. 23
  34. 24
  35. 25
  36. A Brief, Backward History of the McAllister Family, as Paraphrased from the San Jose Mercury News
  37. 26
  38. 27
  39. 28
  40. A Quick and Eerily Relevant History of Asians in America
  41. 29
  42. 30
  43. 31
  44. 32
  45. 33
  46. 34
  47. 35
  48. 36
  49. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part IV
  50. 37
  51. 38
  52. 39
  53. 40
  54. 41
  55. 42
  56. 43
  57. 44
  58. A Series of Screw-ups: The Chisaki Joan Katsuyama Story, Part II (Or Maybe It’s a Prequel)
  59. 45
  60. 46
  61. 47
  62. 48
  63. 49
  64. 50
  65. 51
  66. 52
  67. 53
  68. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part III
  69. 54
  70. A Note from the Author
  71. Index of Flowers and their Meanings
  72. Acknowledgments
  73. About the Author
  74. Praise for This Time Will Be Different
  75. Books by Misa Sugiura
  76. Back Ad
  77. About the Publisher

With that, the sympathy I had begun to feel for Mom evaporates. “You know what, Mom? Maybe Hannah can’t afford her own fancy house, but who cares? She’s always done what she thought was right. She’s taught me to stand up against racism and sexism. That’s more important than how to get into a fancy college and make a lot of money, which is all you seem to care about teaching me.” Bam.

Mom looks like she might explode. “Are you fucking kidding me, CJ? Is that really what you think—that I don’t fight against racism and sexism? Do you have any idea how many assholes assume that the fucking twenty-one-year-old male intern is my boss? Or think that it’s okay to try to follow me into my hotel room after a business meeting? Or that I’ll be flattered when they tell me that their fantasy is to see me in a geisha costume? And that’s just the shit they say to my face, CJ. I won’t even tell you about what I’ve heard that they say behind my back.” She’s sitting straight up now, eyes blazing, her hands gripping the armrests of her chair. “My entire career has been a fight against racism and sexism.”

Oh. I’d seen some of her speeches about fighting to get recognized and promoted and demanding an equal salary. I didn’t know about the other stuff. Only, “Why do you put up with it, if it’s so horrible? Why don’t you do something? Or tell someone? Or quit?” I feel inexplicably angry at her—why can’t she be the warrior I thought she was?

Mom taps her fingers on the armrest for a moment before she says, “First of all. Never, ever blame the target. No one asks to be harassed.”

“You blamed Hannah for her racist trolls,” I mumble.

Mom sighs. “Well, I was wrong.” She gives me a stony look and asks, “May I continue?”

I nod.

“I put up with all that bullshit, CJ, because if I report it, I’m a whiny bitch who can’t take a joke and isn’t a team player, and that’s the end of my career in the industry. And I want to stay in the industry. I put up with it because Katsuyamas never quit. I put up with it because sometimes you have to shut up and do what’s smart instead of what’s right, because that’s the only way that you can get ahead and achieve your goals.” She pauses and sighs again before going on. “It sucks. I hate it. I know you probably don’t understand, but for most of my life, it’s been the only way. But success is the best revenge, CJ, and I am successful. I’m giving you what I never had in my life: an ambitious, powerful female role model.”