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Back This Time Will Be Different Save as PDF
Chapters (77)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. 1
  4. 2
  5. A Series of Screw-ups: The Chisaki Joan Katsuyama Story, Part I
  6. 3
  7. The History of My Beef with Brynn Foer-Preston
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part I
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part I
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part II
  20. 13
  21. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part II
  22. 14
  23. 15
  24. 16
  25. 17
  26. 18
  27. 19
  28. The Complicated History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Imaginary Relationship with Her Nonexistent Dad
  29. 20
  30. 21
  31. 22
  32. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part III
  33. 23
  34. 24
  35. 25
  36. A Brief, Backward History of the McAllister Family, as Paraphrased from the San Jose Mercury News
  37. 26
  38. 27
  39. 28
  40. A Quick and Eerily Relevant History of Asians in America
  41. 29
  42. 30
  43. 31
  44. 32
  45. 33
  46. 34
  47. 35
  48. 36
  49. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part IV
  50. 37
  51. 38
  52. 39
  53. 40
  54. 41
  55. 42
  56. 43
  57. 44
  58. A Series of Screw-ups: The Chisaki Joan Katsuyama Story, Part II (Or Maybe It’s a Prequel)
  59. 45
  60. 46
  61. 47
  62. 48
  63. 49
  64. 50
  65. 51
  66. 52
  67. 53
  68. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part III
  69. 54
  70. A Note from the Author
  71. Index of Flowers and their Meanings
  72. Acknowledgments
  73. About the Author
  74. Praise for This Time Will Be Different
  75. Books by Misa Sugiura
  76. Back Ad
  77. About the Publisher

Did McAllister use the war to force his neighbors out of their homes, farms, and businesses specifically so that he and his family could grab it all for next to nothing? Hard to say for sure. But even if the land grab wasn’t originally part of an evil get-rich-quick master plan, Robert Sr.’s letters make it clear that not only was he a greedy and unethical one-percenter, he was also deeply, undeniably, and unapologetically racist.

26

WHEN I SUGGESTED WE EMAIL GEOFFREY, MY only goal was to save Heart’s Desire. I thought he would write a story about a family fighting over whether to save their history or sell it to the highest bidder, who happened to be descended from an old racist family enemy. I was worried about going behind Mom’s back because it didn’t seem fair to put the story out for everyone to judge.

But in the space of about thirty minutes, everything’s changed. McAllister was not just one unscrupulous man screwing one family out of one business. He was a greedy, unscrupulous racist who built his fortune on the misfortune of others—which he helped bring about. He’s not just a bad guy. He’s a full-on villain.

And here’s Mom, who presented herself as objectively considering a very tempting business deal, telling me that, in fact, she can’t wait to sell our family’s hard-won property back to the family of the same greedy racist.

And here I am, going to a school named after the greedy racist, built on land that I now know he stole from an unconstitutionally imprisoned American citizen. I was uncomfortable about the name of the school before I knew who the land underneath it really belonged to. And now? There’s right and there’s wrong, and I love Mom, but she’s dead wrong, and so are the McAllisters.

As I sit alone in the dim storefront of Sweet Emily’s, fragments of understanding begin to converge inside me. I’ve always thought I’d never be good enough for Mom. She wants me to become rich and powerful and have a fancy career in a field that she cares about, which will show everyone how smart I am. I’ve always worried about what would happen if I couldn’t live up to the bar she set for my success. I will never be the smartest, the best, or the most ambitious. I don’t care about running a successful tech start-up, or a surgery department at a famous hospital, or the state of California. By those standards, I’ll always be a disappointment.