Chapters (77)
- Cover
- Dedication
- 1
- 2
- A Series of Screw-ups: The Chisaki Joan Katsuyama Story, Part I
- 3
- The History of My Beef with Brynn Foer-Preston
- 4
- 5
- 6
- 7
- The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part I
- 8
- 9
- A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part I
- 10
- 11
- 12
- A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part II
- 13
- The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part II
- 14
- 15
- 16
- 17
- 18
- 19
- The Complicated History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Imaginary Relationship with Her Nonexistent Dad
- 20
- 21
- 22
- A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part III
- 23
- 24
- 25
- A Brief, Backward History of the McAllister Family, as Paraphrased from the San Jose Mercury News
- 26
- 27
- 28
- A Quick and Eerily Relevant History of Asians in America
- 29
- 30
- 31
- 32
- 33
- 34
- 35
- 36
- A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part IV
- 37
- 38
- 39
- 40
- 41
- 42
- 43
- 44
- A Series of Screw-ups: The Chisaki Joan Katsuyama Story, Part II (Or Maybe It’s a Prequel)
- 45
- 46
- 47
- 48
- 49
- 50
- 51
- 52
- 53
- The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part III
- 54
- A Note from the Author
- Index of Flowers and their Meanings
- Acknowledgments
- About the Author
- Praise for This Time Will Be Different
- Books by Misa Sugiura
- Back Ad
- About the Publisher
“Yeah.” Hannah has put down the tablet, and she’s peeling a scrap of tape off the counter. “So I met with these people, and— Oh, I don’t know, CJ. We went over the numbers together, carefully, and I realized that there’s no way we’ll be able to raise enough money to pull it off. I guess I was just in denial before—I love this place so much, I couldn’t be reasonable about it. And there’s a boatload of tax issues I don’t want to deal with. And the kind of work it would take to keep things running once we’re back on our feet . . .”
Hannah’s using the voice she uses to explain why her last boyfriend was, in hindsight, a mistake. She’s essentially breaking up with the store. “So that’s what I’ve been trying to figure out. Remember what we talked about? About defining yourself? I had an epiphany about myself. I can’t worry about money. It’s not who I am. So I’ve decided that it’ll be better for everyone if we just do what your mom wants and sell the property. And if things work out with Richard, I might just move in with him, which will get your mom off my back about rent.”
“But you’ve just started dating,” I say stupidly. It’s not even the main issue here, but I’m so stunned I’m having trouble thinking straight.
“Yeah, but I really think he might be the One.”
Why didn’t I notice it before? Hannah’s always been my refuge from Mom’s momness, and I think I’ll always need her that way. But she’s the same way with the rest of her life as she is with her relationships. How can she be so self-involved? Why doesn’t she just act like a grown-up for once? Impatience and disappointment seep into of my image of her, like the brown rot on the edge of a decaying flower petal.
Mom was right. Hannah gets so worked up about things like pride and family and being connected to our history, but in reality, she’s just floating on dreams and stories. Mom’s the one who’s been carrying the weight of it, alone, holding on to our tiny corner of history for Hannah’s sake—maybe even for her own sake, or her father’s. I can finally see why she wants to let go.
49
WHEN I ARRIVE AT EMILY’S HOUSE, MRS. BAXTER greets me with a big hug and a sad smile and points me to Emily’s room. Em is sitting next to her bed with her arms wrapped around her knees, her forehead resting on top. Without looking up, she says, “What do you want?” She sounds pretty hostile.
This is not going to be easy. I sit down next to her and clear my throat.
“I came to apologize.”