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Back This Time Will Be Different Save as PDF
Chapters (77)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. 1
  4. 2
  5. A Series of Screw-ups: The Chisaki Joan Katsuyama Story, Part I
  6. 3
  7. The History of My Beef with Brynn Foer-Preston
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part I
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part I
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part II
  20. 13
  21. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part II
  22. 14
  23. 15
  24. 16
  25. 17
  26. 18
  27. 19
  28. The Complicated History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Imaginary Relationship with Her Nonexistent Dad
  29. 20
  30. 21
  31. 22
  32. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part III
  33. 23
  34. 24
  35. 25
  36. A Brief, Backward History of the McAllister Family, as Paraphrased from the San Jose Mercury News
  37. 26
  38. 27
  39. 28
  40. A Quick and Eerily Relevant History of Asians in America
  41. 29
  42. 30
  43. 31
  44. 32
  45. 33
  46. 34
  47. 35
  48. 36
  49. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part IV
  50. 37
  51. 38
  52. 39
  53. 40
  54. 41
  55. 42
  56. 43
  57. 44
  58. A Series of Screw-ups: The Chisaki Joan Katsuyama Story, Part II (Or Maybe It’s a Prequel)
  59. 45
  60. 46
  61. 47
  62. 48
  63. 49
  64. 50
  65. 51
  66. 52
  67. 53
  68. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part III
  69. 54
  70. A Note from the Author
  71. Index of Flowers and their Meanings
  72. Acknowledgments
  73. About the Author
  74. Praise for This Time Will Be Different
  75. Books by Misa Sugiura
  76. Back Ad
  77. About the Publisher

We remain suspended in the space between friends and . . . something else, for a long, breathless minute. The ocean rushes and roils below us and the sun trembles on the horizon. I can feel Owen’s chest expand and contract with each breath he takes. What if I tilted my face toward his, just a little? What if I turned around in his arms, put my own arms around his neck? Maybe he’d brush his lips against my forehead, then against my closed eyes, my cheeks, and then I’d turn my face to his and feel those lips on my mine. Where would that lead? What could we become?

I feel the rush of Something about to happen, something big, something terrifying, because what if Something did happen, and then what? What if it didn’t work out? Or maybe even worse, what if I think Something’s about to happen, and Owen doesn’t? We work together. We’ve told each other things. Either way, there would be guilt and awkwardness and we’d never be able to go back to the way things were before it happened. Or didn’t happen.

Best to keep things as they are.

I come to this conclusion just as the last molten light of the sun winks out at the edge of the world, which is convenient, because it gives me the excuse to push away from Owen and exclaim, “Well! That was fun. I’m chilled to the bone, though. Let’s go home.”

The unsettling new whatever it is doesn’t go away immediately, but by the time Owen drops me off at home, everything is back to normal. He pushes his hand through that gravity-defying black mess on the top of his head, and I have the sudden urge to run my own hands through it, too. I have to cross my arms so I don’t reach toward him by accident.

I guess it’s not quite back to normal.

“Well.” Owen turns to me. “Bye.”

“Bye.”

And then he’s driving away and I’m going into the house and closing the door on him, on how weird it got back there at the lighthouse, and thanking my lucky stars that nothing’s changed.

That Friday, the subject of Weekly History Minute is the tragic demise of Fanny Longfellow. When Owen (as Henry Wadsworth Longfellow) looks at the camera and says, “True love. It does exist, and despite this tragedy, I am so glad to have experienced it.” I know he’s trolling me, but instead of being annoyed, I can’t help smiling down at the desk. What a dork.

A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part III

Day 45, continued