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Chapters (77)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. 1
  4. 2
  5. A Series of Screw-ups: The Chisaki Joan Katsuyama Story, Part I
  6. 3
  7. The History of My Beef with Brynn Foer-Preston
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part I
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part I
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part II
  20. 13
  21. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part II
  22. 14
  23. 15
  24. 16
  25. 17
  26. 18
  27. 19
  28. The Complicated History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Imaginary Relationship with Her Nonexistent Dad
  29. 20
  30. 21
  31. 22
  32. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part III
  33. 23
  34. 24
  35. 25
  36. A Brief, Backward History of the McAllister Family, as Paraphrased from the San Jose Mercury News
  37. 26
  38. 27
  39. 28
  40. A Quick and Eerily Relevant History of Asians in America
  41. 29
  42. 30
  43. 31
  44. 32
  45. 33
  46. 34
  47. 35
  48. 36
  49. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part IV
  50. 37
  51. 38
  52. 39
  53. 40
  54. 41
  55. 42
  56. 43
  57. 44
  58. A Series of Screw-ups: The Chisaki Joan Katsuyama Story, Part II (Or Maybe It’s a Prequel)
  59. 45
  60. 46
  61. 47
  62. 48
  63. 49
  64. 50
  65. 51
  66. 52
  67. 53
  68. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part III
  69. 54
  70. A Note from the Author
  71. Index of Flowers and their Meanings
  72. Acknowledgments
  73. About the Author
  74. Praise for This Time Will Be Different
  75. Books by Misa Sugiura
  76. Back Ad
  77. About the Publisher

A big “Ohhhhh” went up from the crowd, and Geoffrey scribbled in his notebook; Keila stopped taking pictures. I waited for a shiver of schadenfreude, that feeling of low-key satisfaction you get when someone else experiences failure, humiliation, or bad luck. But it didn’t come. I just felt sad and confused. Emily said I ruined everything. Maybe it’s true.

47

HEY, CJ, THE TEXT READS, IT’S BRYNN.

B: Can you meet me today after school? I need to talk to you

It’s important

CJ: I have work, sorry

B: After work then? I can meet you wherever you want

Please

I need your help

CJ: Okay. I get off at 6. Meet me at 6:30 at Purple Onion

B: Perfect

Thanks so much

I’ll pay for dinner

When I arrive at the café, Brynn is already waiting for me. She’s Using Her Time Wisely by doing her physics homework, and she doesn’t see me until I sit down across from her.

“Hey, I’m so glad you agreed to meet me,” she says, without the usual exclamation point, I notice. She looks terrible. I don’t say this lightly, because even on a bad day, Brynn is make-you-jealous pretty. She’s got rich red hair, intense gray eyes, and adorable, Cupid’s bow lips. But today she’s a faded-out version of her usual self. Everything looks smaller and just—less, as if someone turned the dimmer switch down on whatever energy source keeps her at her usual gazillion watts. But it’s her eyes that really throw me. They don’t light up at all, and it’s not because she’s fake smiling. In fact, they actually start to fill with tears, and the corners of her smile tremble and collapse, and she presses her lips together and wipes her eyes. She takes a couple of shaky breaths and tries for another smile. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s just—” She looks away, struggling to regain control, but I can see more tears gathering. Another breath. I’m starting to get uncomfortable. Finally, she blurts, “Emily broke up with me,” and she gives up trying to stay calm and starts crying for real. Not blubbering or sobbing or anything, but she is definitely deep into weeping territory.

“Oh. Um, I’m sorry,” I say. What should I do? I start to get up to move to her side of the table because I feel like I should hug her, or rub her back or something, but I mean, I hardly know her. And I thought I didn’t like her. And I thought I wanted Emily to break up with her. This is all quite distressing. I hover and bob uselessly, like a worried helium balloon.