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Back This Time Will Be Different Save as PDF
Chapters (77)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. 1
  4. 2
  5. A Series of Screw-ups: The Chisaki Joan Katsuyama Story, Part I
  6. 3
  7. The History of My Beef with Brynn Foer-Preston
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part I
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part I
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part II
  20. 13
  21. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part II
  22. 14
  23. 15
  24. 16
  25. 17
  26. 18
  27. 19
  28. The Complicated History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Imaginary Relationship with Her Nonexistent Dad
  29. 20
  30. 21
  31. 22
  32. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part III
  33. 23
  34. 24
  35. 25
  36. A Brief, Backward History of the McAllister Family, as Paraphrased from the San Jose Mercury News
  37. 26
  38. 27
  39. 28
  40. A Quick and Eerily Relevant History of Asians in America
  41. 29
  42. 30
  43. 31
  44. 32
  45. 33
  46. 34
  47. 35
  48. 36
  49. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part IV
  50. 37
  51. 38
  52. 39
  53. 40
  54. 41
  55. 42
  56. 43
  57. 44
  58. A Series of Screw-ups: The Chisaki Joan Katsuyama Story, Part II (Or Maybe It’s a Prequel)
  59. 45
  60. 46
  61. 47
  62. 48
  63. 49
  64. 50
  65. 51
  66. 52
  67. 53
  68. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part III
  69. 54
  70. A Note from the Author
  71. Index of Flowers and their Meanings
  72. Acknowledgments
  73. About the Author
  74. Praise for This Time Will Be Different
  75. Books by Misa Sugiura
  76. Back Ad
  77. About the Publisher

As if this whole thing is a little temper tantrum on my part. Every time we argue about Heart’s Desire, I’m reminded that she really doesn’t know me anymore. She doesn’t know that I’m finally on my own path. Maybe now’s the time to tell her. I take a steadying breath and start. “Mom, you’re the one who’s always telling me to have a vision and a plan and to fight for what I believe in. Well, I believe in Heart’s Desire. I like it there. I’m good at choosing flowers for people. I’m good at arranging them. But you want to take it away from me so you can make some money you don’t even need. And now that the school-renaming movement is getting in the way of you and your company, you want me to back off that, too? You’re such a hypocrite.”

Okay, that did not end the way I meant it to. But I’m not sorry I said it.

Anyway, it’s like she didn’t even hear me; she says, “CJ, that flower shop does not have a future, with or without MVC. I will not allow you to become a florist, for crying out loud. You are literally throwing your future away working with Hannah.”

“I’d rather work with Hannah and be happy and poor than—”

“Hannah wasn’t born until after the store started making money. She has no idea what it’s like to be poor, and neither do you. She didn’t have to eat rice and Spam every day. She never had to get her clothes from the church charity closet. But I did. And there is nothing wrong with wanting a little financial security and a little comfort, CJ. There’s nothing wrong with success.”

That stops me a little, picturing my high-powered, sophisticated mother wearing secondhand clothes and eating Spam for lunch. I knew that her childhood wasn’t as easy as mine, but she’s never told me before just how hard it was. I lean against the wall and flick the corner of the area rug with my toe, thinking about that.

“Listen, kiddo. Hannah has never in her life considered anyone’s point of view besides her own, and she takes everything she has for granted. As do you, I might add. Not all of us can make a living on a hobby, CJ, and not all of us can just stick by our lofty principles twenty-four-seven. I know Hannah’s told you that you can. I’m telling you she’s full of shit.”