Bertie did not think that he would, but his natural politeness prevented him from saying it. He also knew that there was no point in arguing. His mother was so sure of everything; other people’s parents, Bertie had noticed, seemed to be less certain about things. Hiawatha, for example, had told him that his parents could make their minds up about nothing, and were even uncertain as to whether or not to get up in the morning. ‘Sometimes my mother lies in bed all day,’ he said. ‘You wouldn’t believe it, Bertie, but it’s true. She doesn’t get up. She lies there all day, drinking cups of tea and smoking. Not ordinary tobacco. Some health stuff she likes.’

Bertie thought for a moment. He was glad that he was not Hiawatha – who had other problems – but he wondered if his own mother could be persuaded to stay in bed longer. If she did, then he could perhaps go outside and see if there were any boys to play with in Drummond Square Gardens. He had seen a group of boys there once, throwing sticks at each other, and had longed to join them. But his mother had forbidden him, and he had only been able to look on wistfully.

If Bertie had his way, the first thing he would have got rid of was yoga. The class that he attended, Yoga for Tots, had, to begin with, an insulting name. Bertie was not the oldest member of this class – there were one or two children coming up to their eighth birthday – but he still felt that it was inappropriate for him to be attending something that professed itself to be for tots.

‘I fully understand, Bertie,’ said his mother. ‘I’ve spoken to Mrs Naidu about the name, but she says that it’s not intended to be insulting. The purpose of calling it Yoga for Tots is to demonstrate that you’re never too young to begin yoga. She said that we are all children, anyway, in the eyes of Krishna. And I can see what she means, can’t you?’

‘No,’ said Bertie. He had heard Mrs Naidu refer to Krishna from time to time, but he had never found out exactly who he was. Now, when he asked his mother, she was uncharacteristically vague. ‘Krishna’s a concept, Bertie. Not a real person. Religious people often give names to feelings they have about things. Mummy, as you know, rather sides with Professor Dawkins on these things. But there we are. I’m sure that Mrs Naidu knows in her own head what she’s talking about.’