‘But what if he’s sick all over me?’ Bertie protested. ‘I’ve got to go to school. I can’t go if I’ve got sick all over my shirt.’

‘He won’t be sick again, Bertie,’ Irene said reassuringly. ‘His little stomach is quite empty now.’

Bertie took Ulysses gingerly and propped him up on his lap. The baby, recognising that he had been transferred from Irene to his brother, beamed with pleasure.

‘He seems quite happy now,’ said Irene. ‘Hold him carefully, Bertie, in case the driver has to put the brakes on suddenly. We don’t want little Ulysses flying out of the window – like Hermes.’

While Bertie held his brother, Irene wiped at her blouse with a baby-wipe. ‘They have such delicate little tummies,’ she explained to Bertie. ‘So any odd organism can make them bring things up. It’s perfectly normal.’

‘Maybe he doesn’t like milk,’ said Bertie. ‘Maybe you should give him something else.’

‘Of course he likes milk,’ retorted Irene. ‘You’ve seen him guzzling away on that yellow cup of his. He loves it.’

She finished her cleaning and gestured for Bertie to hand Ulysses back to her. The baby was handed back unprotesting, but when he saw his mother’s face again, he immediately started to wail and was promptly sick again, this time over the back of the seat.

‘Oh dear,’ said Irene. ‘We’re really feeling out of sorts this morning, aren’t we?’

Bertie was silent. He had noticed something: it seemed to him that what prompted Ulysses to bring up was the sight of his mother’s face. Poor Mummy, thought Bertie; she loves little Ulysses so much and already he’s sick of her.

14. Regurgitation Issues

If this distressing vomiting by Ulysses had lasted for no more than a day or two, then Irene would probably have continued to treat the matter as no more than a passing bug of the sort that children pick up so easily. Irene was not one to bother doctors – therapists were a different matter – partly because she felt that they often knew little more than she did, and sometimes rather less. However, after it had persisted for three days, she thought it wise to consult her doctor, a mild-mannered man who ran a small practice round the corner from Scotland Street. The doctor took Ulysses’s temperature and gave him a general examination, during which Ulysses behaved impeccably.

‘This young man seems to be doing perfectly well,’ he said. ‘But you say that he seems distressed on occasion and then brings his food up?’

‘Yes,’ said Irene. ‘He cries and then regurgitates.’