‘You didn’t deserve this,’ Craig said. ‘We’re truly sorry.’

‘That’s OK,’ Matt said. ‘It’s fine now.’

‘For you,’ Craig said. ‘But I’ve a feeling for Lindsey this is only the beginning.’

Sue glanced at him and gave a little shake of her head. She took a lilac envelope from her handbag. ‘She wanted us to give you this,’ she said. ‘You don’t have to take it, but I said I’d try.’

‘I’ll take it,’ Matt said. ‘Thank you.’

Sue handed it to him. Up close he saw she had tears in her eyes. ‘You’re a good lad, Matt,’ she said. ‘We’ll miss you.’

7

He read the letter in the car.

DEAR MATT

WELL I GUESS IT’S ALL FUCKED ANYWAY NOW SO I MIGHT AS WELL TELL YOU THE TRUTH. I LOVE YOU, MATT, I LOVE YOU AS MUCH AS ANYONE EVER LOVED ANYONE ELSE. MORE, PROBABLY. AND I KNOW WE’RE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER. I MADE UP THE BABY TO SHOW YOU THAT. I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH AS SOON AS YOU’D REALIZED THAT YOU AND ME IS WRITTEN IN THE STARS.

IT’S FATE, MATT, AND YOU CAN’T ESCAPE FATE.

SO GO AND HAVE YOUR FUN BUT I WONT GIVE UP ON YOU. I’LL BE HERE FOR YOU, ALWAYS. AND I KNOW YOU’LL COME BACK EVENTUALLY BECAUSE YOU’LL SEE WE’RE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER. THAT’S THE TRUTH, MATT. IT HAS TO BE. THERE’S NO WAY I CAN FEEL LIKE THIS IF IT’S NOT REAL. THE UNIVERSE ISN’T THAT CRUEL. I DID A BAD THING BUT I DON’T DESERVE TO LOSE YOU FOREVER.

SO BYE, FOR NOW. BUT REMEMBER I LOVE YOU.

AND I’LL NEVER GIVE UP ON YOU. NEVER.

L

He folded the letter up and put it in the side pocket of his rucksack. He felt bad for her, and, in a strange way, he understood what she was saying. He felt the same way about Annabelle. It felt so right, it couldn’t be wrong.

They pulled up outside Chamberlain Hall.

‘Righto,’ his dad said. ‘Here we are.’

‘Thanks, Dad.’

‘You want me to stay? We could go for a pint?’

He hesitated, then his dad laughed.

‘I’m only kidding. I’ve got to mow the lawn. You go and find that girlfriend of yours. Love you, Matt.’

‘Love you too, Dad.’

He picked up his rucksack and got out of the car. He’d been planning to drop it off in his room, but he changed his mind. He was going straight to find Annabelle.

Sunday, 8 March 2020, 4 a.m.

Matt

Somehow he had fallen asleep. Not for long – twenty minutes, maximum – but one minute he was sitting on Norman’s bed, in the place he had read countless stories to his elder son, and the next he was opening his eyes.