He inhaled through his nostrils then blew out his cheeks as though dealing with an unreasonable child. ‘Fine,’ he said. ‘I’ll leave it. I don’t want to drink alone. So. How was your day?’

He held her gaze, smiling a smile that did not reach his eyes. She had the sense that he was fighting to control a strong emotion.

The fear came back. He was not stable at all, and that terrified her.

‘Great,’ she said. ‘It was … unusual.’

‘Good, though?’

‘Yes. Good.’

The smile stayed exactly as it was. ‘Mine too. Nobody suspects anything. The police called me. They have no idea.’ The smiled widened. ‘Which is fantastic, isn’t it?’

‘Yes,’ she said.

‘You don’t sound very convinced!’ he said, his voice rising to a higher pitch. ‘I mean, the least you could fucking do is try to sound fucking convinced!’

‘Look,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry. It’s just – you know – I miss my children.’ It was not a good time to mention Matt. ‘I’m worried about them.’

‘You didn’t even want them!’ he shouted. ‘You wrote a book about it. About the regret! About how you were depressed because of them!’

That was fiction, you moron, she wanted to say. Are you that deluded?

‘Yes,’ she said. ‘I know. But I grew close to them.’

He sighed. ‘Is that it?’ he said. ‘After all I’ve done, all you can say is that you’re worried about those brats? Those irrelevant brats?’ He massaged his temples with his forefingers. His hands were shaking. ‘OK,’ he said. ‘Let’s start again.’

He rearranged his features into the smile that did not reach his eyes.

‘So. How was your day?’ he said.

2

She had a strong impression that if she antagonized him further he might snap, and she did not want to see what would happen then.

She took a deep breath. She could say whatever she needed to to get through this. It was just words.

‘My day,’ she said, ‘was great.’

‘Did you miss me?’

She nodded. ‘Of course.’

‘How much?’

How much? How much was enough for him?

‘A lot. I missed you a lot.’

‘More than you missed your children?’

No sane person would ask that of a mother, but then he was no sane person.

‘Yes,’ she said. ‘More than them.’

‘How much more?’ he said. ‘How many times more? Let’s say you missed them a five. What did you miss me? A ten? A fifty?’

‘A fifty,’ she said.

He smiled. ‘Wow. I never expected that. You did miss me!’

This was going nowhere. He was totally delusional. He thought she was in love with him and had been secretly wanting him to rescue her from her husband and children, and nothing would change his mind.

That was the most frightening part. Nothing would change his mind.

At least she knew that now, but there was still one thing she did not understand.