She didn’t want to marry him. He had asked, and she said, Well, let me think about it and he said, What is there to think about? and she said, We’re only sixteen and he said, So? We don’t have to do it today, we can just promise and she said I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that and he said, What? Getting married? and she said, No, us.

It turned out there was no ‘us’. She didn’t want to marry him; she didn’t even want to go out with him any more.

It’s me, she said. Not you. You’re too good for me.

I’ve fucking heard that one before, he replied, then started crying. I love you, Suneela, I really do. I can’t live without you.

I think you can, she said. That’s kind of what this is about. I feel a bit … crushed by you. At school you never leave me alone and then you call me as soon as you get home.

This was so unfair. You’re my girlfriend! I love you! I miss you. Don’t you miss me?

I don’t want to be mean, she said. But I don’t know if I miss you. You never give me the chance to find out.

Well, he would. He’d give her the chance and she’d find out she did miss him. So he left. And now he was in his dad’s old dinghy, rowing around on this stupid fucking lake wishing he’d stayed with her.

Because he’d said that four hours ago and hadn’t heard from her since.

He rowed along, soothed by the sound of the oars dipping in and out of the water. God, life was unfair. What was the point, without Suneela? He could slip over the side and sink to the bottom of the lake, letting the water fill his lungs.

Except he wouldn’t. He’d swim about like a crazy dolphin and end up going home wet and cold. He couldn’t even kill himself properly.

And now, he realized, it was dark.

Well, at least he hadn’t fucked that up. He’d anticipated the darkness and brought a headlamp. He switched it on. His dad had bought it for him last Christmas, and now it was coming in handy.

The beam of light illuminated the surface of the water.

He wasn’t totally useless, after all.

Annabelle

There was someone on the lake, not far from the house. There was a light – a torch, or something like that – reflecting off the water.

She turned off the lamp so she could see it better. It was cloudy, but the torch gave off enough light for her to see the outline of a small rowing boat, with a single figure sitting in the middle.