Bror’s condition grew worse over the next few days and everyone seemed to expect him to die. Then the infection subsided and the looming fatality drifted away as quickly as storm clouds over the sea. Next he wanted to go home. I said no. I wanted him to go to a rehab clinic in pite instead. I had fredrik’s fiftythousand. It should be enough for a while.

There’s nothing really wrong with me bror insisted. I don’t depend on stuff. Can stop it anytime.

Oh good I said. It will be easy for you in that case.

The question was still between us. He heard it but hadn’t answered yet.

Did you intend to die I asked and he nodded.

And leave me alone.

He nodded again. You have your life he said.

Come off it I said. Everyone has a life. Remember the hunting season opens soon. Stay sober and you can join the crew again. Your dog is becoming too much like father’s. Standing by his kennel barking most of the time.

I don’t give a fuck about the hunt he said but looked away. Bror had always been easily moved.

All I want is to go home he said. Please agree to my discharge and I promise to stop drinking. By then I had already stopped listening.

I went back to work for a few days and then to katarina’s house. 151It smelled of isolation and forgetfulness. Eliminating someone’s presence is a quick process. She was buried with her parents now.

I wasn’t sure where to begin.

Her words were in my mind. There’s a letter. Even so I hung back. I could have come along much sooner and started turning everything upside down. But mother’s words of wisdom were stuck in my memory. What you don’t know can’t hurt.

One pile for throwing away. One for giving away. One for selling.

The kitchen cupboards were easy. Mostly plates glasses mugs crockery cutlery. Give away.

The sitting room was harder. Everything could presumably be sold but at what price. I photographed all of it.

The first floor didn’t have much space only a landing and two rooms but was full of things everywhere. It would take time to clear out.

The bedroom was easiest. I went through the bedside table and the chest of drawers. Lined things up on the bed. It made me feel odd to root around in katarina’s private life. I had expected to find clues to myself and to john as well but the objects had no stories attached to them. Not even the dildo covered with skincoloured rubber. I pressed the button. It hummed vibrated for a bit and died.

There were letters though. Not just one.