Yes she said. He is alive but we can’t promise that he will survive. We are keeping him in an induced coma. He has had a gastric haemorrhage. At present he is being managed for firststage sepsis. Hopefully it will fade so he’ll get better or else sepsis might attack all his organs and then it will be difficult to save him.

What is sepsis I asked.

It’s a bit like blood poisoning she replied. Quite common in people who abuse drugs. I’m assuming he takes this and that. He has needle marks on his arms.

As far as I know he is just an alcoholic I said.

Well one never knows the nurse said and patted me lightly on the shoulder. Anyway I must hurry off now. Goodness you look so alike. I saw in his documentation that you gave him first aid. It probably saved his life.

I want to see him I said. I’ve got to. I can’t go home until I have seen him.

She looked at me with stressed eyes. Tore off a piece of hand-towel and wiped sweat from under the hair at the back of her neck. 147

Room seven she said.

Room seven smelled of disinfectant. Bror was lying below oxygen mask plastic tubes heart monitoring leads. There were large red spots on his neck and face. I knew they were keeping him asleep. Perhaps he wasn’t even breathing on his own. I sat down on a chair next to him.

Remember when we rode limerick down to the shore I said. He was so tall we had to climb up on the fence to get to sit on his back. You were in front. The closer the horse got to the sea the perkier he was. He seemed to sense a swim ahead so he could free himself of clegs and midges.

We took the path through the forest to avoid cars. When we were just a bit away from the sea limerick began to gallop. You tried pulling on the reins but he just ran faster and faster. You were hanging on to his mane by then and I was holding on to you but then I couldn’t anymore. I fell off and landed on my back. It took a while before you managed to stop the horse. When you found me you thought I was dead. Or nearly. You lay down flat down among the blueberryshrubs so you could speak straight into my ear. I think it was your breath tickling inside my ear that woke me.

And you cried and snivelled like a child. Well you were a child of course.

I stood up and leaned over my senseless brother. He stank of stale booze and hospital chemicals. I wasn’t crying. Not snivelling like a child. I wasn’t a child.