Things are looking up for you now the paramedic said. He met my eyes and smiled. That was a close shave he went on. I didn’t think god would approve of being sworn at.

God knows when one is serious I said.

Bror was taken to a&e and people suddenly started running about all over the place. His body was lifted onto a trolley. Tubes were stuck into various places on his body. Like in a telly hospital soap. I was propelled into a waiting room. I couldn’t sit still and kept walking up and down.

My phone clicked. John texted that he was sorry. I didn’t reply. I thought about the clay folk. The pathetic battalion of drunkards.

Forgive me jana he texted. Hope you want to see me again. Love you. 143

Which of the claymen should get that line I asked myself. His figure or all of them.

You are not a real woman also fitted most of them. A real classic that one.

Another click. Thank you for helping with the funeral. I hope we will meet again soon. Please come and see me sometime. Hugs Stefan.

Thank you too I wrote. In a&e with bror. Alcohol poisoning. Hugs.

People were coming and going. Some of them looked really ill. Children cried in their parents’ arms. Children lay still with fevered eyes.

I got hold of a nurse and asked but she didn’t know. Would check and come back.

Hello slimming world goodhousekeeping. And swedish hunting.

I leafed through it. Looked at the pictures. Carefully read a piece about ballistics and drank hospital latte in a plastic cup.

I didn’t hear anyone say jana before I felt the hand on my shoulder. It was stefan. And johan whom I had met at the funeral but only to say howdoyoudo in passing. Suddenly they stood there in the midst of the tearful hubbub of voices. They hugged me to their wet loden coats. They had brought things to eat and drink. Sweet tea in a thermos and cheese on slices of sourdough. So what happened stefan asked.

He had tried to drink himself to death. I found him with the horse.

I didn’t know you kept animals.

We don’t I said.

Johan was dark. A little younger than stefan. His eyes flitted between me and his partner. 144

How did it go in the church hall I asked. Did you get them out or did it turn into a nightclub.

Stefan’s eyes rolled upwards. The minister was the worst he said. We practically had to carry him back to the rectory. Where he threw up on the steps.

You left quite early you and the brännströmguy. I didn’t know you two knew each other. Someone said that he and katarina. You know. Or are you an item.

I couldn’t think of a good answer.