He had been sleeping in his old room. Lain in bed and looked at the shelf full of sports prizes that had been collecting dust since his boyhood. Wept over his dead dad and his dead mum and his flight from his childhood home as soon as he had a chance.

How old were you then I asked.

Sixteen it was after year nine. I got a job in town as a kitchen help. Then I trained to be a barber. I’m the owner of sörenvidman’s gentlemen’s hairdresser in case you’ve noticed it.

I hadn’t.

We drank coffee. I had the day off. Ahead of us lay the inevitable talk.

Stefan I have to speak to you about something I said. Clouds of concern drifted across his handsome face. As if he sensed.

Katarina died a few days ago. I thought maybe fredrik had got in touch with you.

He shook his head and stared down at the table. Stayed like that without moving for a long time. Stared at the table letting the handstitched midsummerflowers soak up his tears.

Was she sore he said in the end.

No she was on morphine. She wanted to be remembered to you I added to comfort him. 121

We hardly knew each other he said. I’m not sure why. She felt ashamed of me I think. Maybe she thought I was unpleasant. Or it could just be she was angry because I moved out and left her alone with mum and dad.

Your father I said. He was an ordinary dad wasn’t he. Who sat in an armchair smoking a pipe and reading the paper. That’s how I remember him. There he was in his armchair and didn’t even look up when we came in. But katarina was his little sunbeam. That’s what ingelahansson said. Kattis was his little sunbeam.

There were shadows under stefan’s eyes. He topped up his coffee. Sure you don’t want anything?

That he preferred sis to me was obvious he said. I was a disappointment to him. I didn’t shoot. Felt sorry for the elks. Hated the filthy mucking about in the byre. Tried to sneak out of sight when there was talk of logcleaving or ingaitherin. Meantime katarina did all she could to please. Saying that I don’t think he noticed much though.

Katarina said he shot himself out in the forest. That it was suicide and no hunting accident.

I suppose no one knows for sure stefan said. His mates in the hunting team found him. He straightened the tablecloth. Looked through the winterdirty window at the spring outside.