You were drowning. I watched you drowning from the safety of my rift. Erik walked as far as he could and then swam against wind and waves until he reached you. It was just about your last chance when he caught hold of your hair and was able to get you back to the beach. You clung to his back like a baby monkey.

I stayed in the rift watching. You were lying on the beach together you and your dad. I saw him hold you to his big belly and I saw him cry.

Did he cry I asked.

Yes he cried. At first.

I sensed that there was more to the story.

Come here john said and reached out for me. Let’s lie down for a bit.

We lay down fully dressed on what was now the kitchen sofa. I rested on his arm with my back against his stomach and thought about father. How it was a fact that I had never seen him moved. John was sifting my hair between his fingers and I inhaled his body odour as one might breathe in the scent of flowers or perfume.

I kept you in my sights. Couldn’t resist looking. Erik was known everywhere for his temper. It felt good somehow to see him with his defences down. As if the beast might have a human soul.

But he didn’t stay like that I said.

No john said he didn’t. At first I couldn’t work out what he was up to. Was he helping you to take your swimsuit off. It made sense because you must be cold. But he only pulled it down a bit. Then he took your hand and pressed it against his swimming trunks. 99

I saw you were trying to free yourself and made up my mind to do something.

At first I threw a stone against the rock but the noise disappeared in the rushing of the waves. Instead I got up went round the back of the rocks so it would look like I had walked across the foreland and only happened to run into you. You spotted me a bit away.

You pulled up the swimsuit straps and erik stood up suddenly. Gave bror a push to make him get up. The boy had curled up on a towel with his hands around his knees.

Is that nae him the wee connie your father said when I was within earshot. Heard some interesting things on the day he said and gave me a pat on my deaf ear. Then he hollered at you two to pack your gear and go to the car.

Didn’t he ask you about what you had seen.

No he knew I was dimwitted of course john said. Just in case I hid the binoculars under the towel.

We lay together in silence for a while. I thought about everything I didn’t remember.