Apart from the funeral I’d arrange to have the house emptied. I’ll sell whatever is saleable. The money will be paid into nordin’s account until the chattels have been divided up. It might be clear 84enough who will inherit what. When the house is empty I’ll call you. You have to pick the estate agent but I can see to it that he gets the key. Actually there’s only one in the village. Nordin.

Wasn’t that the funeral director’s he asked.

That’s right I said. As well as the flower shop and the stationer’s.

He thought it over while katarina grew colder.

Ok he said finally. You get the money once you’re done.

No I answered. Before. Then you can go back to your life as if nothing had happened and of course in a way nothing has.

I wrote down my mobile number on a torn-off strip of newspaper.

You know nothing about us he said.

No I said. I don’t need to. Nordin is sure to be here soon. He will take care of the body so take the chance to say goodbye. I’ll go now.

The air was cold and clear. Stars glowed above me. Sirius strongest of all.

At bertilmannberg’s letterbox I met the hearse. Nordin drove slowly. I waved a greeting. As he passed he might have raised his hand behind the tinted windows.

My mobile pinged and I knew who it would be.

Send your account number //fredrik.

I would have done it for free. I had to find these letters.

Later that night I climbed into my girlhood bed and thought about my dead girlhood friend. She had been right. I left the village with my tail between my legs but I should have stayed in touch with her. She wrote to me now and then. I never replied or perhaps I was on the move all the time.

If god existed he would see to it that she stayed free, just floating.

We knew nothing about these things neither of us. The moonlight shone into my room through the attic skylight and I tried hard not to think about john. He had phoned. I hadn’t answered. I wanted 85to be with him. Even longed for him. But I couldn’t let go of the fear I felt standing in his bestroom with piss running down my legs.

I sent my account details to katarina’s ex. When I fell asleep it was already dawn. Two hours later the alarm woke me to a new day working at smalångerelderlycare as well as everything else I had agreed to do.

As usual my first visit of the day was to ingelahansson.

Märitljungqvist had said a definitive no to letting a senile person see her daughter for one last time. They hadn’t even let her know that katarina had died that night.