Maria was special he said. Kind and caring but if you turned the other cheek her way the slap came that instant. It was as if she enjoyed cheating people.

Sounds like our parents I said.

Sounds like father in any case bror said sticking up for mother as he always did. 74

I didn’t buy into that. Mother took her beatings silently. Mother poured fresh brandy and sodas. Mother cooked even nicer food. Mother watched as father hit bror. She allowed it. Prayed to her almighty allhearing allseeing god for help and guidance. Walked to the chapel and prayed some more. Took holy communion. Sang in the church choir. Collected money for children in africa. Helped infirm neighbours out with house cleaning. Adultchristened herself in the churchofjesuschristoflatterdaysaints and embroidered one small tablecloth after another in the same patterns and often with thread in the same colours.

At least she didn’t know about the milking parlour bror said.

How do you know I said. You must admit it was weak of her not to protect her children. She could have divorced swallowed the shame and moved on.

So she could bror said. Though no one else ever got anywhere with father.

The argument stopped at a dead end as usual.

Tell me more about maria I said instead. How did you get to know her.

He sat down on the top step and lit another cigarette.

It’s hard to remember he began. I think she came here to sell fish. So john must have been fishing. Emelie hadn’t come back from work. I had been working the night shift and had just woken up.

She was standing there looking like an amazon in wellies with her sleeves rolled up. Showed off her boxful of fish and smiled. She had our teeth but showed them more often than we do. I bought a whole salmon. But when I wanted to pay she said it was free for me. A gift because I had such beautiful eyes. Like an autumn day by the sea she said. 75

I had to make an effort not to laugh out loud. An autumn day by the sea. More like a high pollen count day in may. We had the same kind of eyes bror and I. Pale grey because they lacked pigment. With reddish rims that would get sore and leak tears and pus.

Next time we met was up the hill behind allanberg’s. I was picking blueberries and suddenly there she was carrying a berrybasket.

She must have seen you go there I told him. Well maybe she did bror said.