He was lying on his side with his head resting on the elbow of his bent arm. His strange kafkaeyes followed me as I walked 35from the bathroom to the sofa. He shifted a little to make room for me. The contrast between the frosty bathroom and his warm body was like a shudder. I was pressed against his body. So hairy everywhere. Curly hair on his head chest legs arms stomach. Even his feet were covered in hair like some kind of primate. Hair tickled my nose. It caught in my mouth. A little lower down I felt his penis grow against my stomach. The fingertips of his free hand lightly stroked my skin. It was a pleasure different from the sudden warmth after the chill. This took time. An eternity before they found my burning sex that wanted more however badly it ached.

I had a child I said afterwards. I don’t know where she is. She was adopted at birth because it was the best thing to do.

Best for whom he wondered.

For mother I suppose and for me too. I was very young and couldn’t look after her. A child to look after a child.

We must have fallen asleep a little after that. We woke to banging on the door and bror’s voice shouting that he wanted it opened. Demanded. His words in the car on our way to the shop had stayed with me. You know nothing about john. Now they came to mind again.

Is there bad blood between you I wondered and realised that john was about to tell me something but that he instead decided to get out of bed. He pulled his jeans on but in daylight his nakedhairy torso made him look like a gorilla who’d prefer to be on all fours.

Coming he shouted impatiently at the door. I locked myself into the cold bathroom.

Where is she bror said in an agitated voice and I hesitated about how to answer him.

Cool down john said. Jana is a grown woman who makes up her own mind. 36

Jana is fragile and she doesn’t need you my brother shouted at the top of his voice and banged on the bathroom door.

Fragile. What was that all about. I ought to have come out and calmed him down but at the same time I was curious. What would they shout at each other next. They shared knowledge of something I didn’t know so I stayed and said nothing.

Was that my brother sobbing or was it john.

It was bror.

You killed her he wailed. You’re such a bastard. You should have died.