At least only if I had been out cutting it I thought and kept an eye on my brother who carried on handing up shiny balls with an adoring smile all over his face.

We’ve got glögg he said. Ready to be warmed up.

At that moment I said something that surprised me as much as it surprised bror.

I’m going across to see mother.

The home for the elderly in smalånger had been built on a hill near the river. The parking lot still hadn’t been cleared of snow.

I knew roughly where to go and look for her.

A carestaff person was in the kitchen arranging slices of cake on a dish. Sirikippo I said. Which room is she in.

Third door to the right she said and carried on with what she had to do.

I waited for a little while outside the third door to the right. Faint sounds of a tv programme came from inside. I knocked and entered.

She was sitting in a wheelchair near the window. At first she seemed to be asleep. One of her hands was held to her breast at a twisted angle. When she turned to face me I thought I might have stepped into the wrong room. Half her face had collapsed as if muscle fibres had given way and let her face sag into a featureless mass near her chin.

From inside the other half of her face sirikippo’s healthy eye 311followed her daughter advancing across the freshly polished lino. I sat down on a chair opposite hers.

Hello I said. It’s snowing outside.

Her functioning hand straightened the tablecloth that had become a little rucked up. Then she put her hand on my arm. I was still wearing my outdoor jacket.

Jaana she said. I had even forgotten her voice and the way she said my name with a long aa. It’s so good of you to come. I have been hoping that you would.

Her voice was almost as I remembered it but the words took longer to fall into place.

It has been a long time I said. How are you.

Well enough she said. I’m well looked after. No complaints. I’ve even got my own tv.

We looked out through the window together. It faced a deserted back garden with snowcovered seats that nobody would sit on until the summer.

The silence between us lasted until a woman knocked and entered without waiting for an answer. She put a tray between us and poured us coffee straight from the cafetière.

There you are siri your christmas coffee. And for your visitor. So nice to have someone call. Your daughter is she. Or perhaps your granddaughter.

Mother didn’t bother to reply. Read to me she said when the woman had left.