John I said. And again and again until he turned towards me. He didn’t look drunk. Maybe petra had confused madness and drunkenness. I could think of no better word than mad.

What are you doing here he said. Get out. I haven’t got time for you now. Come around to clean some other day. He didn’t recognise me.

John I said. It’s petra who is hiding from you. Your daughter petra. You must calm down.

Nobody asked you to stick your nose in this he said. Especially not that one in there.

He banged on the door again. Maria he bellowed. Open the fucking door.

Petra I called out. Phone the police.

I can’t she replied in a childish voice. My mobile’s dead.

And I had left my mobile on the passenger seat in the car.

Too many people coming and going he said. No one with any business here. I want you to go away. Give me some peace and quiet. Do you hear me he bellowed suddenly and rose on his hind legs like a furious gorilla. Leave me alone. 216

I knew one or two things about people going off their heads. This was my last chance to get petra and myself out of this place. We’ll go now I said hoping he would retreat a little. That my voice would bring some sense into his head.

When he came at me I was prepared and slammed the log against the side of his head. He didn’t even seem to feel it. How could my voice.

I ran towards the kitchen. He came after me. I pushed the kitchen table toward him. We circled it. He was growling darkly. When he stood still for a moment at the end of the table furthest from the lobby I shoved it up and over him. Screamed to petra run now. I heard her unlock the loo door and run. Before john realised what had happened she was outside the house and well away.

He could easily have extracted himself from the fallen table but didn’t move. I watched as the look in his eyes changed utterly. He was himself again. The table fell. He put his hands to his head. His temple was smeared with congealing blood. He saw what the kitchen looked like. The upended table. Chairs thrown about. Broken china. It was like a battlefield.

What is all this about he said.

Don’t you remember what happened.

I remember that petra came.

You got it into your head that she was maria. Petra locked herself in the loo. She ran when I overturned the table to stop you. She’ll be on her way to get help by now. She might call the police.

He raised the table back on its legs. Then put his arms around me. Rocked me. Rocked himself. I held myself still waiting for the next stage.