I turned on the small lamps on the window sills and then thought briefly about the letters. I knew I had locked the door when I left. Or at least I had to unlock it when I came home. There was no spare key on the hook because I was using the spare.

The bestroom was still icy cold. We went back to the kitchen. Hungry I asked. We can share some spaghetti.

I put on water to boil the pasta. 196

Have you seen dad she asked. Not for a while. Why do you ask.

Because I’ve phoned him lots and he never answers. So next I went to his house and got in with my own key. It seemed to me that he hadn’t been there for quite a while. It was cold indoors. Colder than here.

How did it look I asked thinking about the chair I had hit him with until one of the handcarved legs had come off. The knockedover things.

Apart from some muck on the floor it looked as usual. I checked the bestroom as well. The paintings were gone and the easel was empty.

We ate spaghetti with a jar of pasta sauce and extra ketchup. At first we didn’t talk much or at least not about serious things. It felt good just being together. As if we knew each other well and had no need to keep the talk going.

It’s tough when everybody feels the right to have an opinion about mum petra said. Some people seem to think I’m just like her. Ordinary people I mean. Not just the guy who lives in two cars. It’s infuriating that everyone must have known lots about what was going on but didn’t do anything.

That’s how it is in smalånger I said. People know but keep their mouths shut. And it can be a good thing at times. About that guy jakobstenvall I went on cautiously thinking about the photo of maria I had seen in his car. Did he know your mum.

He must have she said. These days he doesn’t mention her but earlier. He wouldn’t talk about anything or anybody else. About how lovely she was and all that. He came to her funeral. He had even bought a wreath.

What did it say on the wreath I asked. 197

That was odd too she said. To my beloved maria the card said. As if his wife had died. He wept so loudly during the service people turned to look. He sat right at the back. When he noticed people were watching him he got up and left.

When petra left it was almost nine o’clock. The wind was growing stronger.

Drive carefully I said as one does.

I locked the door. Wished that lukas had been with me. Not even the cat was at home.