3

my
brother

karin
smirnoff

Translated from the Swedish
by Anna Paterson

pushkin press

EPIGRAPH

5

far awa from the warld

Far awa in the ill pairt

Lost in the warld

I play my melodium

for the pyne in my saul

The bellow is broke

Broke is my soul

Far doun in th’ill pairt

Lost in the warld

—Helmer Grundström

6

CONTENTS

1. TITLE PAGE
2. EPIGRAPH
3. ONE
4. TWO
5. THREE
6. FOUR
7. FIVE
8. SIX
9. SEVEN
10. EIGHT
11. NINE
12. TEN
13. ELEVEN
14. TWELVE
15. THIRTEEN
16. FOURTEEN
17. FIFTEEN
18. SIXTEEN
19. SEVENTEEN
20. EIGHTEEN
21. NINETEEN
22. TWENTY
23. TWENTYONE
24. TWENTYTWO
25. TWENTYTHREE
26. TWENTYFOUR
27. TWENTYFIVE
28. TWENTYSIX
29. TWENTYSEVEN
30. TWENTYEIGHT
31. TWENTYNINE
32. THIRTY
33. THIRTYONE
34. THIRTYTWO
35. THIRTYTHREE
36. THIRTYFOUR
37. THIRTYFIVE
38. THIRTYSIX
39. THIRTYSEVEN
40. THIRTYEIGHT
41. THIRTYNINE
42. FORTY
43. FORTYONE
44. FORTYTWO
45. FORTYTHREE
46. FORTYFOUR
47. FORTYFIVE
48. FORTYSIX
49. FORTYSEVEN
50. FORTYEIGHT
51. FORTYNINE
52. FIFTY
53. FIFTYONE
54. ABOUT THE PUBLISHER
55. COPYRIGHT

7

ONE

I went to see my brother. Took the bus along the efour down the coast and jumped off at the stop for the village. Then I set out to walk.

It snowed heavily. The road was disappearing under the drifts. Snowflakes tumbled into the low tops of my boots and my ankles froze as they did in childhood.

I would have thumbed a lift but no cars came. My brother’s house was a couple of kilometres away up a slope.

I sang songs by everttaube to distract myself. Our parents loved everttaube and then they died.

The wind slashed my coat. The top button was missing and snow was melting against my neck. I should’ve got there by now. The snow made the landscape anonymous. Had I even passed eskilbrännström’s yet. I speeded up. For as long as the ship stays afloat. Then Who said just you would be born.

A bundle forced itself forward through the snow fog. A huddled human shape straining against the wind. At first I couldn’t see if it was a man or a woman.

The wind swerved. The snowflakes were handsized. For a few seconds the figure wasn’t there but then the wind blew its hardest and in the eye of the storm I saw who it was.

It was no one I knew.

Some weather he said when he had come close and I nodded. He wanted to know where I was off to and I said kippofarm. 8

Then you must’ve taken the wrong turning at the crossroads he said through his scarf. You should’ve turned right. I’ll come with you he said.

I could only make out his nose and eyes between the scarf and the woolly cap. Tried to catch his eye but he kept looking ahead.

We turned even though the compass inside me still pointed the opposite way.

He offered me his gloves. It was a long time since I’d shared somebody’s gloves. I couldn’t get my head round having gone the wrong way. We turned and walked back. Facing the wind and bending over like children lost on the high fells.

He lived nearby and his name was john.