“It’s simple, really. I’m not your Dom. We had sex and it was great, but that doesn't mean I’m your Dom and you're my sub. There’s levels to this. I haven't earned the right to be your Dominant, nor have I earned your trust. It should take a lot for you to decide you want me to be your Dom, and to know I’ll never abuse the power that comes with it. I also don't even know what you're into. I don't know what kinks you have or which you hate. I don't know your limits so I don't know how far to push you. There’s a lot that goes into it, and I take it seriously, so while we explored your impact kink a little, there’s so much more to it than that. I only knew to do that because you told me you’d asked your ex to do it. If you hadn't told me that, I never would've done it. In hindsight, I probably still shouldn't have.”

“What? Why not?”

“Just because you gave Vance consent to hit and choke you, doesn’t mean you gave that consent to me. Consent is not a blanket for all men to wear once they learn that you gave it once. It’s personal, and up to you to decide who you give it to and when. I overstepped last night and I won’t make that mistake again.”

I pause for a moment just to look at him, because Nas seems to find new ways to impress me every day. He’s unlike any of the men I’ve ever dated. He’s a talented writer who makes great money, he’s gorgeous, he’s unbelievable in bed, and he cares about consent. It almost sounds too good to be true.

“Well, for the record,” I say after a moment to gather my thoughts. “Maybe it’s a little late, but you definitely have my consent to slap and choke me, because what you gave me last night is not something I ever want to go without.”

We share a laugh as Nas nods his head. “Duly noted, and thank you. However, just so we’re clear, I’m not just a writer of BDSM. I live the lifestyle and I respect it. BDSM and being a Dom is who I am, and what we did last night was not BDSM. I just wanna make sure you're aware of that.”