“Oh, my fucking god!” I chirp in a voice that sounds foreign to me. My head erupts with pain, but I’m almost too excited to notice. “You guys got me a ticket to go see my favorite author! I can get all of my hardbacks signed by him. Oh! I can get The Patient signed! Holy shit! Come here and hug me right now, just do it gently so I don’t puke on you.”

My friends move in quickly but slow down as they reach me, and I pull them both into a hug that still hurts, but I don’t care. I kiss them both on the cheek and even feel a rush of emotion I can’t explain as I look at them.

“You guys are so thoughtful and sweet,” I say, still beaming. “I wish Shay was here so I could kiss her, too. Thank you guys so much.”

“You’re welcome, boo,” DeShaun says as Juliana sits next to me.

“We know how much you love him, plus I wanted to see what all the fuss is about. From how much you talk about him, I expect him to look like Michael B. Jordan,” Juliana says.

“I honestly don’t even know what he looks like,” I tell her, and she frowns.

“What? He doesn’t put his picture in his books or anything?”

“No, and he actually doesn’t do a lot of big signings. I guess he’s really private or something. I’ve even heard a rumor that he doesn’t allow fans to take pictures of him at his appearances.”

“Oh, I totally get it,” DeShaun cuts in. “He’s ugly as fuck.”

“What?” I snip.

“Don’t you see?” he goes on. “It’s because he’s able to write these really graphic, detailed, sexy ass books that get women all riled up. The last thing his publisher wants is for people to see he’s actually an ugly monster who’s gifted with the ability to write. You love him more if you think he might actually be gorgeous like his characters. It’s a selling point, because it keeps up with the fantasy. When he walks in next week, he’s going to be a hideous gargoyle with immaculate penmanship.”

“Why do you gotta ruin her fantasy like that?” Juliana says, slapping DeShaun in the arm.

“What? I just want her to be prepared. He’s not going to be some hunk. If he was, why would they go through all the trouble of making the signing by ticket only? They’d open those doors and let the world see him if he was fine. I’m telling you.”

“Stop trying to ruin the moment!” I bark. “It doesn’t really matter how he looks anyway. He’s still my favorite, and I can’t wait to see him. Even though DeShaun is being a hater, I appreciate you guys so much.”