I leave Nas’s stomach alone and wrap my arm around his waist, squeezing him tight. “Thank you. You’re so incredible.”

Silence wraps us in a cloud, thick with emotion and anxiety. What is it about this part of our relationship that scares Nas so much? Any time I mention feelings or give him compliments based on more than just sex, he clams up on me, reminding me of exactly why my friends are weary of him. I frown as I lay on him knowing my face is out of view, because I want more. Our sex is great—it’s the greatest sex anyone could ever have, but the next level is where emotions are shared. I can only imagine what it would be like to have the love of a man like Nas. Imagine how incredible it would feel to submit to the love of your life. How unreal could the sex be if you injected the emotional connection of love into a dynamic like ours? I’m not saying I’m in love with Nas, but I do feel something for him, and I need him to feel something for me, too.

“You’re in your head, Baby Girl,” Nas says from above me, and I’m glad he can’t see my expression harden.

“It’s fine,” I reply, lying through my teeth.

“Tomorrow is Friday,” Nas says. “What are your plans after work?”

I pinch my lips together to bite back the words I really want to say, because I feel a strong urge to lose my shit right now. How dare he just step over my feelings like shit on the sidewalk. I want to get up and walk out, but I’m bound by the feelings I have for him that he apparently doesn’t have for me. Why am I cursed to always want things from people who can’t give them to me? I significantly upgraded my sex life from the boredom I had with Vance, only for Nas to starve me of the true adoration I deserve.

“Nothing. Why?” I snip as my emotions build to a boil in my chest.

It’s like Nas knows he has me wrapped around his finger. He knows if he asks what I have planned, I’ll cancel it to be with him here in this basement. He knows I’ll say yes, and he can continue to fuck me without appreciating me. If only I was strong enough to walk away. I’m not right now because I love being here. I enjoy doing what we do in this world Nas introduced me to. He’s the one who showed me the lifestyle, which gives him a special place in my heart. But it won’t always be new to me. I won’t always be shackled to him like this. If he doesn’t get it together, I will eventually break free.