He was still speaking, so I summoned every bit of strength and interrupted with as much force as I could manage. ‘Dad, I’m not going with you. Sasha needs me here.’

His eyes were glinting and I had to look away.

‘No,’ he said, trying to duck into my line of sight. When that didn’t work, he took hold of my chin and tilted my head back so I could only look away from him with my eyes. His fingers dug into my skin. ‘It’s all arranged. You can have whatever you want. Clothes. Books. How about a MacBook? You wanted a MacBook, didn’t you?’

Everything inside me longed to concede. This time, though, I couldn’t.

‘I can’t,’ I said, and I swivelled my eyes as far from him as they would go. I saw a spider walking up the wall, its shadow huge in the lamplight.

‘You can.’

‘I can’t leave Sasha. I don’t want to. I’m going to stay here.’

The silence hung there. I forced myself to wait it out. His hand dropped from my chin.

‘Do you mean it?’

I nodded, watching the spider. I heard him exhale in a huge huff. I held my breath. This was where it got dangerous.

Sure enough, he pulled back his fist and punched my bed. Suppressed violence spread through the room. Menace hung static in the air. He could do anything, and we both knew it. He walked over to a wall and punched it hard. Then he strode to the door. He turned at the threshold.

‘Last chance,’ he said, spitting his words so I could almost see them flying towards me. Our eyes met for a few seconds and I looked away.

‘No. I’m staying here,’ I said to the wall, and he left.

I heard him moving around downstairs, and then the door clicked shut and something landed on the doormat with a thud.

I waited for ages for him to come back, but he didn’t. Time stretched on and on, and nothing happened. After a while I put on my dressing gown and fluffy socks and crept downstairs.

He’d left an envelope propped against the kettle with Sasha’s name on the front. There was a note for me next to it, scrawled on a piece of paper from a pad that had To-do List at the top of each page in a stupid font.

A, I expected better of you. You have broken my heart. Call me when you change your mind. If staying you need to call yr school and cancel the email I sent last night. Enjoy life in foster care!!!

The pen had gone through the paper on those last exclamation marks.