‘We’re actual humans,’ she said. ‘We were babies once. And Dad freaked out at us. At me.’

‘Jai is better than Dad,’ I said, and at last she laughed.

‘The faintest praise,’ she said. ‘But you’re right.’

‘I wonder why Mum married him. And why he stuck around all that time.’

Sasha sighed. ‘I don’t think it does us much good to dwell on it. But I reckon he depended on her so much. Maybe in his way he loved her too much to be able to manage without her. He always wanted to move away, didn’t he? But Mum wouldn’t, and he never went on his own until she was gone.’

I shuddered.

‘He was horrible to Mum. Remember how he’d punch the wall next to her? That’s a toxic way of loving someone too much. I think he’s just a wanker.’

‘Yeah. Whatever else happens, we’ve always got that. A central truth.’

We smiled at each other. Everything felt a bit better. We ate the stir-fry, which was nice enough, and then finished all the chocolate we could find.

‘An actual baby, though,’ I said.

‘I know.’

‘Can we go shopping yet?’

Sasha had been superstitious about not buying anything until it was nearly time for the birth, but now that she was pretty much six months pregnant I thought we might be able to start stocking up.

‘Soon.’ She grinned. ‘I think we could start with a Moses basket, and some tiny clothes. Take it from there. I mean, tiny clothes! This is real.’

‘Pram?’

‘Maybe just a sling to start with. We don’t need a car seat or anything like that. Since we don’t have a car.’

‘What about taxis?’

‘Ariel! How often do we get a taxi? Never.’

‘How about getting him home from the hospital?’

‘I don’t know.’

We didn’t really know anything, but it didn’t matter. We would work it out.

32

Bodmin station is in the middle of some trees, with nothing but a car park anywhere near it. It’s a nice place because nothing seems to happen here apart from trains.

I arrive at half past nine and spot the ghost quickly among the cluster of annoyed passengers. At least I assume the man sitting cross-legged at the end of the platform with his eyes closed is the ghost.

I picture the blue of the sky. There it is: a glow all around him. I’d expected someone who looked a bit crusty from the way Lara described him. In my head he was a Swampy type. This man, however, is wearing a suit. He’s about thirty-five, of Asian appearance, and supremely calm, and he has the glow of the undead. I don’t like to approach him in case I scare him, so I just sit down cross-legged at a distance and wait for him to notice me. I can hear him humming.