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Chapters (61)
  1. COVER
  2. About the Author
  3. Books by Emily Barr
  4. DEDICATION
  5. Prologue
  6. 1
  7. 2
  8. 3
  9. 4
  10. 5
  11. 6
  12. 7
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. 10
  16. 11
  17. 12
  18. 13
  19. 14
  20. 15
  21. 16
  22. 17
  23. 18
  24. 19
  25. 20
  26. 21
  27. 22
  28. 23
  29. 24
  30. 25
  31. 26
  32. 27
  33. 28
  34. 29
  35. 30
  36. 31
  37. 32
  38. 33
  39. 34
  40. 35
  41. 36
  42. 37
  43. 38
  44. 39
  45. 40
  46. 41
  47. 42
  48. 43
  49. 44
  50. 45
  51. 46
  52. 47
  53. 48
  54. 49
  55. 50
  56. 51
  57. Epilogue
  58. Acknowledgements
  59. Read on for an extract from …
  60. 12 December
  61. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING

I sigh. ‘It’s so stupid.’

‘It’s not,’ he says. ‘It’s just unlucky. Bad timing, right?’

‘Right,’ I say, but I’m not really sure what he means.

I sit in registration and take out the photo Enzo sent me when we started writing. He does look nice. I’m sure we’ll be friends when we meet.

I read his letter again. The words swim before my eyes.

They are saying the wrong things.

Dear Joseph,

I know you will not see this message. But I want to write to you to say I am so sad and worried for you. I hope you will be found soon.

Please come to visit us when you are safe again. You are always in my heart. I send you flowers.

Enzo

I blink. That is wrong.

I focus and look again. This time it says:

Dear Joseph,

Thank you for your letter. I am very happy that you are coming to visit with me …

It says, in fact, exactly the things that it should say.

I punch the side of my head in frustration, again and again, and when I see people looking at me I change it into a comedy ‘d’oh’ thing like Homer Simpson. Enzo is excited to meet me, and we’re going to do all the fun things there are to do in St Etienne. Apparently there are some good museums. I have no idea why I thought it said anything else. My heart is pounding. It was so clear. The words were right there. They were in front of my eyes. I saw them, as real as anything else. More real than most things. But they weren’t there at all.

By the end of school I’m a mess. I cannot overcome the feeling that something terrible is about to happen. I can’t go home so I set off into town and go to the mall. I buy a Coke and walk into a man who swears at me. I swear back at him and run to the secret room so I can try to pull myself together.

I sit there, feeling like shit, and then the door opens and everything goes blank.

Penguin walking logo

7

I marched along the corridor with my head down. All I wanted was to get out of school and home to Sasha. I never saw the blue people at home, but at school now they were in every corner, lurking, waiting for me. I wished they could see me. I wished I could talk to them and find out what was going on.

Tomorrow, I thought. Tomorrow I would try again. I’d find one of them, on their own, and look them in the eye and speak.