After English Finn and I walked to a cafe that was far enough from college to get us away from any gossip. It was a nice place, with dark varnished floorboards and comfy battered chairs.

‘So,’ said Finn, after we’d got past the awkward negotiations about who was buying the coffees. ‘How are you doing, Ariel?’

‘Fine, thanks!’

Troy had come to take his trophy back. He and Joe had got into an argument that had developed into a physical fight. I could imagine Joe being incredibly annoying. Troy had punched him, in the heat of the moment, in the small room. It had been an unlucky punch and Joe died. Troy’s dad had been working right there in Beachview. He’d helped him with the body. That had to be it. It explained why Piet was so hostile to me when I asked questions.

I looked at Finn and forced myself to focus. ‘How about you?’

‘Um, yeah, all good,’ he said.

I knew I wasn’t doing my bit conversationally, so I started to talk. Just say anything, I thought, and it’ll get things flowing. ‘My sister’s baby’s really cute,’ I said. ‘I’ll show you some pictures.’

‘Oh yeah,’ he said. ‘Cool.’

Ten minutes later I was talking about Raffy’s nappies, and Finn was zoning out. I stopped myself.

‘How about college?’ I said. ‘How are you finding it?’

‘It’s cool,’ he said. ‘I mean, better than school, right?’

‘Right,’ I said.

It was the most lacklustre date there’d ever been. In spite of all my best intentions, I could only think about Joe.

44

Lara is knitting in purple.

‘Joe!’ she says. ‘What a treat. What’s up?’

I take a deep breath and tell her about Leo. She feels the same as I do. It’s shattering.

‘Let’s not talk about it for the rest of the journey,’ I say.

We are all each other has now, and I’m torn between wanting to help her out of here and doing everything in my power to keep her exactly where I can find her.

Also, what if there’s nothing after this? It might be the only form of life I can have. A part of me wants to cling to it.

‘We think Troy killed me,’ I say, determined to move the conversation on in the short time we have.

Lara frowns. ‘Your friend?’

‘Yes. By mistake.’

I tell her everything. I take the trophy out of my bag and pass it to her. It comes out easily for her. It only sticks when I try to give it back to Troy.

‘Strange thing to die for,’ she says, handing it back.