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Chapters (86)
  1. Title Page
  2. CONTENTS
  3. Love
  4. Before
  5. One
  6. ONE
  7. Two
  8. TWO
  9. Three
  10. THREE
  11. Four
  12. FOUR
  13. Five
  14. FIVE
  15. Six
  16. SIX
  17. Seven
  18. SEVEN
  19. Eight
  20. EIGHT
  21. Nine
  22. NINE
  23. Ten
  24. TEN
  25. Eleven
  26. ELEVEN
  27. After
  28. One
  29. ONE
  30. Two
  31. TWO
  32. Three
  33. THREE
  34. Four
  35. FOUR
  36. Five
  37. FIVE
  38. Six
  39. SIX
  40. Seven
  41. SEVEN
  42. Eight
  43. EIGHT
  44. Nine
  45. NINE
  46. Ten
  47. TEN
  48. Eleven
  49. ELEVEN
  50. Twelve
  51. TWELVE
  52. Thirteen
  53. THIRTEEN
  54. Fourteen
  55. FOURTEEN
  56. Fifteen
  57. FIFTEEN
  58. Sixteen
  59. SIXTEEN
  60. Seventeen
  61. SEVENTEEN
  62. Eighteen
  63. EIGHTEEN
  64. Nineteen
  65. NINETEEN
  66. Twenty
  67. TWENTY
  68. Twenty-One
  69. TWENTY-ONE
  70. Twenty-Two
  71. TWENTY-TWO
  72. Twenty-Three
  73. TWENTY-THREE
  74. Twenty-Four
  75. TWENTY-FOUR
  76. Twenty-Five
  77. TWENTY-FIVE
  78. Twenty-Six
  79. TWENTY-SIX
  80. Twenty-Seven
  81. TWENTY-SEVEN
  82. Twenty-Eight
  83. TWENTY-EIGHT
  84. Eleven Months Later
  85. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  86. Copyright

I look around and see books. Shelves and shelves of them. Not new ones, though, like the ones in Waterstones with their sharp, colourful spines, but old ones with battered leather jackets – oxblood and brown and what was once navy blue but now looks almost black, in this light – their gilt titles dulled from years of warm hands and lingering at the bottom of too many school bags. I look down and see that the wide, scuffed floorboards beneath my feet lead to a large window ahead of me which frames a narrow street that looks vaguely familiar, even in the dark.

Before I can work out where I am, though, two blokes stop outside the window. One is wearing a white shirt with what I hope is a red wine stain on the front and the other is swinging a bottle of champagne. They’re swaying and singing ‘Auld Lang Syne’ and my shoulders relax again.

It’s still New Year’s Eve.

That’s something.

Wherever I am, I can’t have been here long.

When the blokes carry on down the road, I notice the shop opposite. I know it. I’m in town. I must be, because that’s the weird vegan shoe shop Poppy made me go in.

‘Ashana?’ The girl in the teddy-bear coat is in front of me now. She’s careful to keep her distance, but she’s still close enough to make my hands fist so tightly in the tartan blanket the bones in my fingers ache.

‘Don’t be scared,’ she says.

Of course I’m scared.

I don’t know who she is or how I got here.

It’s becoming increasingly difficult to remain calm about that.

Panic licks at my palms, my synapses firing all at once. Question after question after question until something catches light, fear burning everything away until I am left with a single, furious thought.

I have to get out of here.

That’s when I see the door out to the street, but as I am calculating the number of steps between me and it, I hear a bell and it swings open.

A girl about my age sweeps in and I find myself pulling the tartan blanket closer as I wonder if I know her as well. I don’t. Or at least, I don’t think I do.