BooksBarbecue
Back Afterlove Save as PDF
Chapters (86)
  1. Title Page
  2. CONTENTS
  3. Love
  4. Before
  5. One
  6. ONE
  7. Two
  8. TWO
  9. Three
  10. THREE
  11. Four
  12. FOUR
  13. Five
  14. FIVE
  15. Six
  16. SIX
  17. Seven
  18. SEVEN
  19. Eight
  20. EIGHT
  21. Nine
  22. NINE
  23. Ten
  24. TEN
  25. Eleven
  26. ELEVEN
  27. After
  28. One
  29. ONE
  30. Two
  31. TWO
  32. Three
  33. THREE
  34. Four
  35. FOUR
  36. Five
  37. FIVE
  38. Six
  39. SIX
  40. Seven
  41. SEVEN
  42. Eight
  43. EIGHT
  44. Nine
  45. NINE
  46. Ten
  47. TEN
  48. Eleven
  49. ELEVEN
  50. Twelve
  51. TWELVE
  52. Thirteen
  53. THIRTEEN
  54. Fourteen
  55. FOURTEEN
  56. Fifteen
  57. FIFTEEN
  58. Sixteen
  59. SIXTEEN
  60. Seventeen
  61. SEVENTEEN
  62. Eighteen
  63. EIGHTEEN
  64. Nineteen
  65. NINETEEN
  66. Twenty
  67. TWENTY
  68. Twenty-One
  69. TWENTY-ONE
  70. Twenty-Two
  71. TWENTY-TWO
  72. Twenty-Three
  73. TWENTY-THREE
  74. Twenty-Four
  75. TWENTY-FOUR
  76. Twenty-Five
  77. TWENTY-FIVE
  78. Twenty-Six
  79. TWENTY-SIX
  80. Twenty-Seven
  81. TWENTY-SEVEN
  82. Twenty-Eight
  83. TWENTY-EIGHT
  84. Eleven Months Later
  85. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  86. Copyright

‘I didn’t tell her anything, I swear.’ I take my hands out of the pockets of my jacket and hold them up. ‘I just asked her generally, what would happen if someone I used to know recognised me.’

‘So what did she say?’ Poppy pushes, the crease between her eyebrows deepening.

‘Not much.’ She obviously doesn’t believe me, so I hold my hands up again. ‘It’s Deborah. She knows everything and tells us nothing.’

Esen chuckles tartly, backing me up.

‘All she said was not to let it happen.’

‘Not what would happen if it did?’

I shake my head because I can’t tell her that as well.

Not now.

It’s too much.

‘So where does that leave me, Ash?’

‘I don’t know, Pops. I’m so sorry.’

‘So what? I just sit around waiting for Deborah to give you a Post-it note with my name on it?’ she asks, fiddling with the cat-head ring on her forefinger. When I don’t respond, just exchange another glance at Esen, Poppy is quiet for a moment, then looks at me again. ‘I’m guessing this window isn’t open for long.’

I consider lying. Consider giving her a tiny bit of hope, but that’s not fair, is it?

Not that any of this is fair, of course.

I shake my head. ‘A couple of days, maybe.’

The word – days – hangs there, filling the space between us as she sits up and crosses her arms.

‘So I could die any minute, Ash? I could die right now, on this bench?’

She doesn’t wait for me to respond.

‘I don’t want to die on this bench,’ she says.

But all I hear is, I don’t want to die.

Before I can say anything to comfort her, though, she jumps off the picnic bench and starts walking away.

‘Poppy, where are you going?’ I call after her, but she doesn’t look back.

‘I told you! I’m not dying on this fucking bench!’

Nineteen

images

NINETEEN

I don’t think Poppy knows where she’s going, she just wants to go. So Esen and I give her a minute, trailing behind her as she strides away from town towards the Marina. She finally slows as she passes the elevator down to Madeira Terrace and I wonder if she’s tired, but she glances over the railing at the café and empty playground on the beach then starts walking with more purpose, her hair burning bright red in the moonlight.

My instinct is to walk more quickly as well, but Esen won’t let me, tugging on the sleeve of my leather jacket until I slow down. She tells me again to give her a minute, but what if Poppy doesn’t have a minute? What if the driver of the approaching lorry falls asleep, mounts the kerb and mows her down?

It could happen.

Anything could.