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Chapters (86)
  1. Title Page
  2. CONTENTS
  3. Love
  4. Before
  5. One
  6. ONE
  7. Two
  8. TWO
  9. Three
  10. THREE
  11. Four
  12. FOUR
  13. Five
  14. FIVE
  15. Six
  16. SIX
  17. Seven
  18. SEVEN
  19. Eight
  20. EIGHT
  21. Nine
  22. NINE
  23. Ten
  24. TEN
  25. Eleven
  26. ELEVEN
  27. After
  28. One
  29. ONE
  30. Two
  31. TWO
  32. Three
  33. THREE
  34. Four
  35. FOUR
  36. Five
  37. FIVE
  38. Six
  39. SIX
  40. Seven
  41. SEVEN
  42. Eight
  43. EIGHT
  44. Nine
  45. NINE
  46. Ten
  47. TEN
  48. Eleven
  49. ELEVEN
  50. Twelve
  51. TWELVE
  52. Thirteen
  53. THIRTEEN
  54. Fourteen
  55. FOURTEEN
  56. Fifteen
  57. FIFTEEN
  58. Sixteen
  59. SIXTEEN
  60. Seventeen
  61. SEVENTEEN
  62. Eighteen
  63. EIGHTEEN
  64. Nineteen
  65. NINETEEN
  66. Twenty
  67. TWENTY
  68. Twenty-One
  69. TWENTY-ONE
  70. Twenty-Two
  71. TWENTY-TWO
  72. Twenty-Three
  73. TWENTY-THREE
  74. Twenty-Four
  75. TWENTY-FOUR
  76. Twenty-Five
  77. TWENTY-FIVE
  78. Twenty-Six
  79. TWENTY-SIX
  80. Twenty-Seven
  81. TWENTY-SEVEN
  82. Twenty-Eight
  83. TWENTY-EIGHT
  84. Eleven Months Later
  85. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  86. Copyright

‘I mean this family. My new family. Dev and Deborah.’ She kicks at a tuft of weeds on the path between us. ‘And you.’

Me?

‘Oh,’ I say, lifting my chin to look at her. She won’t look at me, though, and I have an overwhelming urge to reach for her hand, but before I can, I hear someone say my name.

They say it again. ‘Ash, is that you?’

I turn to see who it is and there she is, red hair ablaze in the moonlight as she stares at me.

Poppy.

Fifteen

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FIFTEEN

I wait for her to disappear, but there’s no puff of smoke. No cruel cackle as my mind, satisfied to have played its trick, goes back to plotting the next one. Her cheeks are so red that it’s all I can do not to reach out and cup her face with my hand, feel the burn of her skin against my palm, but I can’t move and it’s like the day we met on the boat, like she and I are encased in a soap bubble that will pop if I’m foolish enough to do anything to disturb it.

She speaks first, her voice low – careful – in a way I’ve never heard it before. ‘Ash?’

I just stare at her. ‘Oh my God, Poppy.’

It’s her.

It’s actually her.

But it can’t be.

I feel it then – hope – my wicked brain tricking me into thinking that it’s some sort of miracle before the reality of it comes barrelling towards me like that car outside the mini-mart on New Year’s Eve.

‘Go, Poppy! Run!’ I tell her as if that will stop it.

As if her running away will halt the chain of events that were set in motion as soon as she recognised me.

She steps back, her eyes wide, tears streaming from them. She looks at me one last time then she’s gone, doing as I say and running away down the path, her hair everywhere, the only thing I can see in the dark. And I should let her go, but before I can stop myself, I’m running too, calling out her name. She turns to look back at me, her face pale now and her mouth open as she lets out a scream that sends the seagulls fleeing, wings batting wildly, echoing her cry.

‘Get away from me!’ she yells, hair whipping around so that it covers her face as she turns away again. And with that she stumbles, falling forward and holding her hands out to stop herself as she spills on to the path with such force the pebbles fly away, much like the seagulls just did. And it’s the most terrible sound, this heavy HISS as the air leaves her lungs, punctured by a sharp yelp as she lands on the path and her hands leave two grooves in the pebbles.