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Chapters (86)
  1. Title Page
  2. CONTENTS
  3. Love
  4. Before
  5. One
  6. ONE
  7. Two
  8. TWO
  9. Three
  10. THREE
  11. Four
  12. FOUR
  13. Five
  14. FIVE
  15. Six
  16. SIX
  17. Seven
  18. SEVEN
  19. Eight
  20. EIGHT
  21. Nine
  22. NINE
  23. Ten
  24. TEN
  25. Eleven
  26. ELEVEN
  27. After
  28. One
  29. ONE
  30. Two
  31. TWO
  32. Three
  33. THREE
  34. Four
  35. FOUR
  36. Five
  37. FIVE
  38. Six
  39. SIX
  40. Seven
  41. SEVEN
  42. Eight
  43. EIGHT
  44. Nine
  45. NINE
  46. Ten
  47. TEN
  48. Eleven
  49. ELEVEN
  50. Twelve
  51. TWELVE
  52. Thirteen
  53. THIRTEEN
  54. Fourteen
  55. FOURTEEN
  56. Fifteen
  57. FIFTEEN
  58. Sixteen
  59. SIXTEEN
  60. Seventeen
  61. SEVENTEEN
  62. Eighteen
  63. EIGHTEEN
  64. Nineteen
  65. NINETEEN
  66. Twenty
  67. TWENTY
  68. Twenty-One
  69. TWENTY-ONE
  70. Twenty-Two
  71. TWENTY-TWO
  72. Twenty-Three
  73. TWENTY-THREE
  74. Twenty-Four
  75. TWENTY-FOUR
  76. Twenty-Five
  77. TWENTY-FIVE
  78. Twenty-Six
  79. TWENTY-SIX
  80. Twenty-Seven
  81. TWENTY-SEVEN
  82. Twenty-Eight
  83. TWENTY-EIGHT
  84. Eleven Months Later
  85. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  86. Copyright

When I don’t say anything, it seems to piss her off even more, and she turns to Poppy. ‘And you.’ Esen jabs her finger in Poppy’s direction this time. ‘You’re not supposed to know about us and what we do. And you’re certainly not supposed to be coming on reaps with us. Do you know what Deborah would do to us if she found out?’

Poppy takes a step back, her eyes wet, and I don’t even think about it, I’m between them.

‘First of all. Don’t you dare yell at her! I’ll kill you again!’

I don’t know where it comes from – this roar – but it feels like I could punch a hole in the sky.

If Esen’s surprised, she doesn’t show it, licking her lips at the challenge.

But before she can say anything else, I take another step towards her and it’s my turn to jab my finger. ‘It’s not Poppy’s fault. She’s going to die and she doesn’t know how or when so cut her some slack! If you want to yell at someone, Esen, yell at me.’ I slap my chest with my hand. ‘I’m the one who dragged you into this.’

‘Yes, you did,’ she reminds me with a sour smirk. ‘And now we’re all fucked.’

I throw my arms out. ‘How?’

‘If you want to do this,’ Esen gestures at Poppy, ‘fine. You know what you’re getting yourself into. But if Deborah finds out that Dev and I knew about this, that we went along with it, we’re fucked, Ash!’

‘She won’t,’ I insist, but even as I say it out loud, I don’t believe it.

It’s Deborah.

‘I’ll tell her that you didn’t know,’ I promise, because that’s all I can do. ‘That it was all me.’

‘Don’t be so naïve, Ash. I’m guessing this is above Deborah’s pay grade. They probably already know.’

That hadn’t even occurred to me.

I finally get what she’s saying and I’m suddenly very, very scared.

‘It’s OK.’ I hold my hands up and I don’t know whether I’m saying that for her or for me. ‘It’ll be OK.’

‘Whatever.’ She shakes her head and takes a step back. ‘Do what you want, Ash. You will anyway.’

‘That’s not fair, Esen!’ I call after her as she turns and walks away.

But she doesn’t look back, and is swiftly swallowed up by the crowd of tourists and Sunday shoppers who are too absorbed with sniffing incense and taking photos of the red-and-white-striped legs kicking up from the Komedia to even notice that we’re there, let alone what we’re arguing about.

When I turn back to Poppy she’s staring at me, her whole face red now.

‘What is she talking about, Ash?’

Twenty-Three

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TWENTY-THREE