BooksBarbecue
Back Afterlove Save as PDF
Chapters (86)
  1. Title Page
  2. CONTENTS
  3. Love
  4. Before
  5. One
  6. ONE
  7. Two
  8. TWO
  9. Three
  10. THREE
  11. Four
  12. FOUR
  13. Five
  14. FIVE
  15. Six
  16. SIX
  17. Seven
  18. SEVEN
  19. Eight
  20. EIGHT
  21. Nine
  22. NINE
  23. Ten
  24. TEN
  25. Eleven
  26. ELEVEN
  27. After
  28. One
  29. ONE
  30. Two
  31. TWO
  32. Three
  33. THREE
  34. Four
  35. FOUR
  36. Five
  37. FIVE
  38. Six
  39. SIX
  40. Seven
  41. SEVEN
  42. Eight
  43. EIGHT
  44. Nine
  45. NINE
  46. Ten
  47. TEN
  48. Eleven
  49. ELEVEN
  50. Twelve
  51. TWELVE
  52. Thirteen
  53. THIRTEEN
  54. Fourteen
  55. FOURTEEN
  56. Fifteen
  57. FIFTEEN
  58. Sixteen
  59. SIXTEEN
  60. Seventeen
  61. SEVENTEEN
  62. Eighteen
  63. EIGHTEEN
  64. Nineteen
  65. NINETEEN
  66. Twenty
  67. TWENTY
  68. Twenty-One
  69. TWENTY-ONE
  70. Twenty-Two
  71. TWENTY-TWO
  72. Twenty-Three
  73. TWENTY-THREE
  74. Twenty-Four
  75. TWENTY-FOUR
  76. Twenty-Five
  77. TWENTY-FIVE
  78. Twenty-Six
  79. TWENTY-SIX
  80. Twenty-Seven
  81. TWENTY-SEVEN
  82. Twenty-Eight
  83. TWENTY-EIGHT
  84. Eleven Months Later
  85. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  86. Copyright

That should be enough, I know, but it’s not because no, we may not be special, but I believe in her. I believe in us. I believe that we’re bigger than all of this. And it’s more than just attraction. More than lust and adolescent impatience. It’s something underneath it all. Something that makes me want to live. And I know I can’t – not now – but she can. She can still be here even if intervening means that I won’t be allowed to.

So let Charon come get me. Better that than watch Poppy die when I could have stopped it. I can’t watch her get on that boat and go somewhere I’ll never find her. That doesn’t need to happen for all the things, the things Esen just said, to be true. Even if she lives until she’s ninety, I’ll never disappoint her. It will always be like this. We’ll always be as in love with each other as we are now.

I will always be the girl who saved her life.

I really want to be that girl.

Esen must know that, because she shakes her head again. ‘I can’t stop you. I can’t even lie and say that I wouldn’t do the same thing because it’s the grand romantic gesture, isn’t it? Saving Poppy so she can live the life that you never will. Just promise me you’ll think about it. If you do this, it – she – better be worth the risk.’

I don’t even need to think about it.

Of course she is.

Twenty

images

TWENTY

Deborah calls Esen with a reap near Tarner Park so she tells me to check in with her later and with that, she’s gone. As soon as the front door closes behind her, I hear Poppy call out my name, asking me to come upstairs. When I get to her, I see that she’s fully dressed and all in black, like me. Black skinny jeans. Black socks. An oversized black jumper. Her skin is pink from the shower and she looks so cosy that I want to reach out and hug her, feel the scratch of her wool jumper against my fingers, but then I realise that we’re finally alone.

I don’t think Poppy’s thinking the same thing, though, because she hands me a green plastic box. I look down to find that it’s a first aid kit and when I look up again, she sticks out her chin and raises her palms.

‘Do you think I should do something with these? Do I need a plaster or something?’

I lean closer to peer at cuts she got when she fell in the graveyard. ‘They’ve stopped bleeding, so it’s probably best to let them dry out. But let’s clean them in case you got shampoo in them when you were showering.’