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Chapters (86)
  1. Title Page
  2. CONTENTS
  3. Love
  4. Before
  5. One
  6. ONE
  7. Two
  8. TWO
  9. Three
  10. THREE
  11. Four
  12. FOUR
  13. Five
  14. FIVE
  15. Six
  16. SIX
  17. Seven
  18. SEVEN
  19. Eight
  20. EIGHT
  21. Nine
  22. NINE
  23. Ten
  24. TEN
  25. Eleven
  26. ELEVEN
  27. After
  28. One
  29. ONE
  30. Two
  31. TWO
  32. Three
  33. THREE
  34. Four
  35. FOUR
  36. Five
  37. FIVE
  38. Six
  39. SIX
  40. Seven
  41. SEVEN
  42. Eight
  43. EIGHT
  44. Nine
  45. NINE
  46. Ten
  47. TEN
  48. Eleven
  49. ELEVEN
  50. Twelve
  51. TWELVE
  52. Thirteen
  53. THIRTEEN
  54. Fourteen
  55. FOURTEEN
  56. Fifteen
  57. FIFTEEN
  58. Sixteen
  59. SIXTEEN
  60. Seventeen
  61. SEVENTEEN
  62. Eighteen
  63. EIGHTEEN
  64. Nineteen
  65. NINETEEN
  66. Twenty
  67. TWENTY
  68. Twenty-One
  69. TWENTY-ONE
  70. Twenty-Two
  71. TWENTY-TWO
  72. Twenty-Three
  73. TWENTY-THREE
  74. Twenty-Four
  75. TWENTY-FOUR
  76. Twenty-Five
  77. TWENTY-FIVE
  78. Twenty-Six
  79. TWENTY-SIX
  80. Twenty-Seven
  81. TWENTY-SEVEN
  82. Twenty-Eight
  83. TWENTY-EIGHT
  84. Eleven Months Later
  85. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  86. Copyright

‘This doesn’t feel real,’ I say, more to myself than to her. ‘It’s like I’m waiting to wake up and be back, you know? Like nothing happened. Like all of this is a bad dream, or something.’

My gaze catches on Esen’s scythe necklace and I can’t help but reach for mine. I press the sharp silver pendant between my finger and thumb and think of Alice Anderson’s parents waiting for her to come home. ‘Does this get any easier?’

I don’t realise that I’ve said it out loud until I hear Esen say, ‘I don’t think it’s supposed to be easy.’

Fourteen

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FOURTEEN

It’s stopped snowing, the little that did settle melting away as Esen and I walk back to the bookshop. I’m so distracted by what just happened with Poppy, that it’s a moment or two before I notice we’re turning on to a road I don’t recognise. I ask her where we’re going. But she doesn’t respond as she takes her phone out and frowns at the screen before putting it back in her pocket.

‘Where are we going?’ I ask again. Not that I mind the detour, happy to delay the bollocking I’m no doubt going to get from Deborah as soon as I get back.

Esen nods down the road. ‘There’s something I want to show you. Something that will help.’

‘Help with what?’

‘Help to make all of this feel more real. It’s just down here.’

There doesn’t seem to be anything here, though, just a row of houses to our left and a high brick wall to our right, but she’s walking with such purpose I practically have to run to keep up with her. A cab rolls past, its light on, and as I look over my shoulder to watch it go, back towards the seafront, I don’t see the orange cones blocking our path and almost walk straight into them. Luckily, Esen stops me, sticking her arm out.

‘Here,’ she says, looking down at them.

I do the same, then glance up at the wall to find there’s a huge hole in it, broken bricks tumbling out on to the pavement, the cones there to stop idiots like me from tripping over them.

‘Come on.’

Instead of walking around, she steps over them, through the hole in the wall.

‘Where are you going?’

Esen doesn’t respond, disappearing into the darkness. I check over my shoulder then do the same, stepping over the pile of bricks and through the break in the wall into a dense copse of trees. A branch snaps under my foot as I do, making me lose my footing, Esen is there, reaching for the sleeve of my leather jacket. She gives me a second to regain my balance, then lets go, telling me to follow her.