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Back Afterlove
Chapters (86)
  1. Title Page
  2. CONTENTS
  3. Love
  4. Before
  5. One
  6. ONE
  7. Two
  8. TWO
  9. Three
  10. THREE
  11. Four
  12. FOUR
  13. Five
  14. FIVE
  15. Six
  16. SIX
  17. Seven
  18. SEVEN
  19. Eight
  20. EIGHT
  21. Nine
  22. NINE
  23. Ten
  24. TEN
  25. Eleven
  26. ELEVEN
  27. After
  28. One
  29. ONE
  30. Two
  31. TWO
  32. Three
  33. THREE
  34. Four
  35. FOUR
  36. Five
  37. FIVE
  38. Six
  39. SIX
  40. Seven
  41. SEVEN
  42. Eight
  43. EIGHT
  44. Nine
  45. NINE
  46. Ten
  47. TEN
  48. Eleven
  49. ELEVEN
  50. Twelve
  51. TWELVE
  52. Thirteen
  53. THIRTEEN
  54. Fourteen
  55. FOURTEEN
  56. Fifteen
  57. FIFTEEN
  58. Sixteen
  59. SIXTEEN
  60. Seventeen
  61. SEVENTEEN
  62. Eighteen
  63. EIGHTEEN
  64. Nineteen
  65. NINETEEN
  66. Twenty
  67. TWENTY
  68. Twenty-One
  69. TWENTY-ONE
  70. Twenty-Two
  71. TWENTY-TWO
  72. Twenty-Three
  73. TWENTY-THREE
  74. Twenty-Four
  75. TWENTY-FOUR
  76. Twenty-Five
  77. TWENTY-FIVE
  78. Twenty-Six
  79. TWENTY-SIX
  80. Twenty-Seven
  81. TWENTY-SEVEN
  82. Twenty-Eight
  83. TWENTY-EIGHT
  84. Eleven Months Later
  85. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  86. Copyright

As we lean into one another, I wonder if I should tell her now – but then I hear the first firework pop and see a sudden blossom of hot pink in the black sky off to our right, past the Pier. I gasp, startled, and when Poppy does the same, we look at each other and giggle.

‘What time is it?’ she asks, leaning into me. ‘It can’t be midnight yet.’

I check my phone. ‘11:16.’

‘Must be the time difference between here and Hove,’ she chuckles again, taking a sip from the can of beer we’ve been sharing then handing it back to me.

When I look back out at the sea, I notice some red nail polish on the toe of my right DM, just a dot, like a glossy drop of blood on the black leather. I must have done it when I was rushing to get ready earlier and I’m tempted to reach over and pick it off, but then Poppy brings my hand up to her mouth and kisses it and I feel the firework in my chest this time. She smiles at me and I didn’t know that it could be like this.

That you can like someone and they can like you back and no one gets hurt.

My phone rings then and I ignore it, letting it go to voicemail.

There’s a beat, then it starts again and I glance at the screen to see who is being so persistent.

It’s my mother.

‘Shit,’ I hiss, letting go of Poppy’s hand as I almost jump clean out of my skin when I see her name on the screen. I quickly make the sign of the cross and say a little prayer that she’s just calling to check on me, but when I answer and there’s a painful stretch of silence, I know that isn’t the case at all.

If we were closer to the Pier, I’d jump off it.

Finally, she says, ‘Ashana? Where are you?’

‘Hey, Mama. How’s Aunty Lalita’s party?’ I ask, trying to sound casual as I curse the group of lads who have decided that of all parts of the beach to have a wrestling match, they want to do it in front of me.

My mother waits a beat then says it again. ‘Ashana? Where are you?’

Before I can answer, the lads start cheering as one of them succeeds in pushing his mate in the sea and she must have heard – she can hear the opening of a biscuit packet three rooms away – and I know I’m done for, so I don’t even try to lie. ‘At the beach with Poppy,’ I admit with a defeated sigh.

‘Come home now, please.’

‘Fuck,’ I spit when she hangs up on me and reconsider my plan to jump off the Pier.