‘He got on the boat,’ she finally spits out then closes her eyes and lets go of a defeated sigh.

‘What boat?’ It takes me a moment to get what she’s saying, then when I do, I almost lose my balance as the kitchen seems to turn so suddenly it feels like I’m suspended upside down on a rollercoaster. ‘Charon’s boat?’

She nods and I’m light-headed as I try to decipher what that means.

‘Where did he go, Esen?’ I ask again, my voice far steadier than I feel.

‘I don’t know.’ She just shrugs. ‘Wherever it is that they go. Every New Year’s Eve we get a new reaper so one of us can go. Me and Dev didn’t want to this year so Joseph did.’

I stare at her as my brain tries to grasp what she’s saying then slips.

Grasps.

Slips.

Grasps.

Slips.

‘So.’ She shrugs when she realises that I’m not getting it. ‘I mean, technically.’ She shrugs again, putting her hand in her hair and fisting it. ‘You can get on the boat next New Year’s Eve if Dev and I decide not to.’

I should be furious – I thought this was it, for eternity – but there it is, at last.

Hope.

Bright, beautiful hope.

‘And find Poppy,’ I say, the words sparking off my tongue and exploding around us like fireworks.

Esen shrugs again. ‘Not necessarily—’

‘You said,’ I interrupt, taking my hand out of the back pocket of my jeans. I see it shaking as I point at her, but I don’t try to stop it. ‘You said that we go wherever we believe is beyond the sea.’

She doesn’t say anything, but she doesn’t need to.

‘So, if Poppy and I believe that we’re going to the same place then we’ll go to the same place.’

She chuckles sourly. ‘What the fuck do I know, though?’

I ignore her, spinning round to face the living room where Poppy is dancing wildly. ‘I have to tell her.’

‘No.’ She reaches for my arm. When I turn back she’s frowning. ‘Don’t get her hopes up. It’s cruel.’

‘I have to give her something, Esen.’

How can I not tell her?

This is more than we had a few minutes ago.

‘Just leave her be. Let her have this.’ She nods towards where Poppy and Dev are dancing. ‘Let her enjoy the party and whatever else she wants to do. Let her leave on her own terms, then if you find her on New Year’s Eve, great, but if you don’t, at least you’ve said goodbye and she won’t spend eternity waiting for you.’

I hesitate at that, imagining Poppy waiting on some shore somewhere for a boat that isn’t coming.

‘Go,’ Esen tells me. ‘You don’t know how long you’ve got, so just go dance with your girl.’