I just look at her, my hands in the pockets of my leather jacket, because I don’t know what to say. I don’t even know what I’m risking, do I? Not for sure, anyway. Just that whatever it is has to be worth it.

Poppy isn’t having it, though.

‘Ash?’ she pushes, taking a step towards me.

I take my hand out of my pocket and press it to my forehead. ‘I don’t want you worrying about this.’

‘Worrying about what?’

‘Whatever happens after, you know.’ I can’t look at her. ‘I just want you to focus on now.’

‘How can I when you won’t tell me what’s going on?’

‘Because it doesn’t matter, Poppy. The only thing that matters is what you want to do today.’

‘What? So you can worry about me, but I can’t worry about you? That’s not how this works, Ash.’ She gestures at the space between us. ‘I can’t believe you didn’t tell me that this would get you into trouble.’

‘Only if Deborah finds out and she won’t find out. I’ll make sure of it.’

Poppy raises her arm to point in the direction Esen just stomped off. ‘What if Esen’s right? What if she, they, whoever they are, already know?’

‘If they did, I’d know about it,’ I reassure her and I really do believe that.

‘And if they do find out? Are they going to punish you for this? For being with me?’

‘I guess.’

‘You guess?’ she chuckles tartly. ‘How?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘You do, Ash. You might not know for sure, but you have an idea.’

‘I’ll be banished,’ I admit, stuffing my hands into the pockets of my leather jacket. ‘Whatever that means.’

‘What do you think it means?’

‘That I won’t be here or there, wherever you go when you get on the boat with Charon.’

‘Where will you be, then?’

‘Nowhere.’

‘What?’ Poppy blinks at me. ‘Like purgatory or something?’

‘I guess so. I asked Dev once and she said that she heard that it was like falling through darkness. Just falling and falling and falling forever, but never landing.’

She thinks about it, then the crease between her eyebrows deepens. ‘How do we stop that happening?’