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Chapters (86)
  1. Title Page
  2. CONTENTS
  3. Love
  4. Before
  5. One
  6. ONE
  7. Two
  8. TWO
  9. Three
  10. THREE
  11. Four
  12. FOUR
  13. Five
  14. FIVE
  15. Six
  16. SIX
  17. Seven
  18. SEVEN
  19. Eight
  20. EIGHT
  21. Nine
  22. NINE
  23. Ten
  24. TEN
  25. Eleven
  26. ELEVEN
  27. After
  28. One
  29. ONE
  30. Two
  31. TWO
  32. Three
  33. THREE
  34. Four
  35. FOUR
  36. Five
  37. FIVE
  38. Six
  39. SIX
  40. Seven
  41. SEVEN
  42. Eight
  43. EIGHT
  44. Nine
  45. NINE
  46. Ten
  47. TEN
  48. Eleven
  49. ELEVEN
  50. Twelve
  51. TWELVE
  52. Thirteen
  53. THIRTEEN
  54. Fourteen
  55. FOURTEEN
  56. Fifteen
  57. FIFTEEN
  58. Sixteen
  59. SIXTEEN
  60. Seventeen
  61. SEVENTEEN
  62. Eighteen
  63. EIGHTEEN
  64. Nineteen
  65. NINETEEN
  66. Twenty
  67. TWENTY
  68. Twenty-One
  69. TWENTY-ONE
  70. Twenty-Two
  71. TWENTY-TWO
  72. Twenty-Three
  73. TWENTY-THREE
  74. Twenty-Four
  75. TWENTY-FOUR
  76. Twenty-Five
  77. TWENTY-FIVE
  78. Twenty-Six
  79. TWENTY-SIX
  80. Twenty-Seven
  81. TWENTY-SEVEN
  82. Twenty-Eight
  83. TWENTY-EIGHT
  84. Eleven Months Later
  85. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  86. Copyright

‘Tomorrow. Their Eurostar gets in around lunchtime, I think. So by the time they get the train from St Pancras, it’ll be, like, early afternoon. Right,’ she says, before I can ask anything else. ‘I need a shower. I need to wash today off me.’ She gestures at us to follow as she heads up the stairs. ‘You’re welcome to hang out.’

When we get to the top of the stairs, she throws her hand out towards the living room then stops with a sad smile, no doubt remembering that I’ve been here. She heads up to her room and as soon as she’s gone, Esen marches into the kitchen. I want to tell her not to touch anything, but before I can, she yells, ‘There’s a wine fridge!’

‘Careful,’ I tell her as I walk in to find her opening the glass door.

‘Dom Perignon,’ she says, pulling out a champagne bottle and smiling wistfully at the label. ‘Man, I wish I could still taste this. The closest I ever got was a bottle of prosecco from Lidl.’

‘Same,’ I chuckle. ‘Except mine was from the Co-op, which Adara and I drank in Preston Park.’

‘Classy,’ she says, sliding the bottle back on to the shelf as I walk back into the hall to see if I can hear Poppy.

I look up the stairs, considering going up to check on her, when I hear Esen call out to me from the kitchen.

‘Leave her alone, Ash.’

‘I just want to make sure she’s OK,’ I tell Esen, coming to stand in the doorway.

‘I know.’ She shrugs. ‘But if it happens in the shower, it happens in the shower. What can you do?’

It’s Esen, so I know I shouldn’t be surprised that she’s being so bloody blasé, but I still want to smack her.

‘So?’ she asks when I walk back into the kitchen, standing behind the island with her arms crossed.

‘So?’

‘What did Deborah say?’

‘Exactly what I told Poppy, that she doesn’t know how long it will be before . . .’

I can’t say it.

‘Deborah does know,’ Esen huffs. ‘You just can’t ask her.’

‘I almost did.’

Esen shakes her head at me. ‘I’m glad you didn’t.’

‘Isn’t it better to know, though? So we know how much time Poppy has left?’

‘She wouldn’t have any time left. Deborah would send her straight to Charon. You know she would.’

Of course she would.

‘I don’t know.’ I shrug. ‘I thought maybe she’d let it run its course. Let her go when she’s supposed to go.’

‘Maybe, but at what cost?’

‘Cost?’ I try not to raise my voice in case Poppy hears. ‘She’s already dying. What else is there to lose?’