BooksBarbecue
Back Afterlove Save as PDF
Chapters (86)
  1. Title Page
  2. CONTENTS
  3. Love
  4. Before
  5. One
  6. ONE
  7. Two
  8. TWO
  9. Three
  10. THREE
  11. Four
  12. FOUR
  13. Five
  14. FIVE
  15. Six
  16. SIX
  17. Seven
  18. SEVEN
  19. Eight
  20. EIGHT
  21. Nine
  22. NINE
  23. Ten
  24. TEN
  25. Eleven
  26. ELEVEN
  27. After
  28. One
  29. ONE
  30. Two
  31. TWO
  32. Three
  33. THREE
  34. Four
  35. FOUR
  36. Five
  37. FIVE
  38. Six
  39. SIX
  40. Seven
  41. SEVEN
  42. Eight
  43. EIGHT
  44. Nine
  45. NINE
  46. Ten
  47. TEN
  48. Eleven
  49. ELEVEN
  50. Twelve
  51. TWELVE
  52. Thirteen
  53. THIRTEEN
  54. Fourteen
  55. FOURTEEN
  56. Fifteen
  57. FIFTEEN
  58. Sixteen
  59. SIXTEEN
  60. Seventeen
  61. SEVENTEEN
  62. Eighteen
  63. EIGHTEEN
  64. Nineteen
  65. NINETEEN
  66. Twenty
  67. TWENTY
  68. Twenty-One
  69. TWENTY-ONE
  70. Twenty-Two
  71. TWENTY-TWO
  72. Twenty-Three
  73. TWENTY-THREE
  74. Twenty-Four
  75. TWENTY-FOUR
  76. Twenty-Five
  77. TWENTY-FIVE
  78. Twenty-Six
  79. TWENTY-SIX
  80. Twenty-Seven
  81. TWENTY-SEVEN
  82. Twenty-Eight
  83. TWENTY-EIGHT
  84. Eleven Months Later
  85. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  86. Copyright

When I look up, Esen is there and I stiffen because she isn’t like Dev. She isn’t going to hug me and tell me that it’s OK. Sure enough, she looks at me carefully, her hands in the pockets of her heavy wool coat. Her hair is wild now, the wind lifting her curls up and away from her face so that I can see the sharp sweep of her jaw.

I brace myself, sure that she’s going to rip me a new one, but she looks at me and I realise it’s the way I looked at my little sister that time she got lost in Churchill Square. A look that’s equal parts relief and DON’T YOU DARE DO THAT AGAIN and something else. Something I realised when I was looking for Rosh in Churchill Square and turned the corner to find her by the cookie stand and I knew I’d go to the ends of the earth to find her.

The urge to hug Esen then is so fierce it startles me, but I resist as I watch her take her phone out of the pocket of her coat and call someone. ‘I’ve got her,’ she says, then hangs up.

‘Is that Deborah?’

Esen shakes her head then slips her phone back in her pocket. ‘Dev. She went back to the bookshop to distract Deborah while I followed you.’ The skin between her dark eyebrows pinches, the light spilling through the open door of the Mash Tun making her eyes look alight. ‘What was that about? Why did you run off like that?’

I don’t know what to say, so I say sorry.

‘Don’t be sorry. It’s my fault.’ She shakes her head. ‘I told Deborah you weren’t ready.’

It takes a moment to realise what she’s getting at. ‘Alice Anderson? Oh she’s fine. She didn’t give me any trouble.’ Esen doesn’t look convinced and I hold up my hands. ‘Honestly. I just took her to Charon.’

‘So what just happened?’

I consider not telling her, but I can feel myself tipping. Into what, I don’t know, but I need her to pull me back.

‘I just saw my girlfriend, coming out of the Dome. That’s why I ran, to catch up with her.’

‘What?’ she snaps, bringing her hand up as the wind blows her hair forward, into her face.

‘She didn’t recognise me.’

Esen visibily relaxes at that, but still arches an eyebrow at me. ‘You sound disappointed.’

‘I’m not.’ I can’t look at her. ‘I just thought she might.’

‘Thought or hoped?’

There’s a pause and the seagulls fill it.

First Adara, now Poppy? I know it’s good that they didn’t see me, but that doesn’t make it any easier.