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Chapters (86)
  1. Title Page
  2. CONTENTS
  3. Love
  4. Before
  5. One
  6. ONE
  7. Two
  8. TWO
  9. Three
  10. THREE
  11. Four
  12. FOUR
  13. Five
  14. FIVE
  15. Six
  16. SIX
  17. Seven
  18. SEVEN
  19. Eight
  20. EIGHT
  21. Nine
  22. NINE
  23. Ten
  24. TEN
  25. Eleven
  26. ELEVEN
  27. After
  28. One
  29. ONE
  30. Two
  31. TWO
  32. Three
  33. THREE
  34. Four
  35. FOUR
  36. Five
  37. FIVE
  38. Six
  39. SIX
  40. Seven
  41. SEVEN
  42. Eight
  43. EIGHT
  44. Nine
  45. NINE
  46. Ten
  47. TEN
  48. Eleven
  49. ELEVEN
  50. Twelve
  51. TWELVE
  52. Thirteen
  53. THIRTEEN
  54. Fourteen
  55. FOURTEEN
  56. Fifteen
  57. FIFTEEN
  58. Sixteen
  59. SIXTEEN
  60. Seventeen
  61. SEVENTEEN
  62. Eighteen
  63. EIGHTEEN
  64. Nineteen
  65. NINETEEN
  66. Twenty
  67. TWENTY
  68. Twenty-One
  69. TWENTY-ONE
  70. Twenty-Two
  71. TWENTY-TWO
  72. Twenty-Three
  73. TWENTY-THREE
  74. Twenty-Four
  75. TWENTY-FOUR
  76. Twenty-Five
  77. TWENTY-FIVE
  78. Twenty-Six
  79. TWENTY-SIX
  80. Twenty-Seven
  81. TWENTY-SEVEN
  82. Twenty-Eight
  83. TWENTY-EIGHT
  84. Eleven Months Later
  85. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  86. Copyright

Danica shrugs, smiling sadly. ‘Well, someone’s got to do it.’

‘I guess.’

‘Hey,’ she says, tipping her chin to me. ‘You Indian as well?’

It’s quite the segueway.

I’ve barely had time to recover from the kiddie cancer thing.

‘Yeah.’ I nod. ‘Indo-Guyanese.’

‘Yes!’ When she smiles this time, it’s so wide now that I can see the white of her teeth as she raises her hand for a fist bump. When I reluctantly comply, she winks and says, ‘We need more desi reapers.’

Glad I could add to the numbers, I guess.

images

Dev is distracted by someone else she knows, which gives me an opportunity to slip off and find somewhere quiet to sit. As I look out at the horizon, I see the red flashing lights from the wind farm – all 116 of them – and I can’t help but think of last night with Poppy, the sea at our feet. I’m suddenly exhausted and squeeze my eyes shut, sure that I can feel the heat of her next to me, but when I open them again, it’s not Poppy, it’s Dev, and I jump.

‘Found you,’ she grins.

I don’t. ‘Yay.’

‘Oh, come on, Ash,’ she coos, sitting down next to me on the pebbles. ‘I thought you’d like this.’

I’m a bit startled by that. ‘Why?’

‘So that you can see that you’re not alone. You’re part of a family now.’

Dev can keep saying that we’re a family as many times as she likes, but we will never be family.

I have a family.

‘Well, this might cheer you up, then,’ she persists, reaching into the pocket of her coat. I watch her warily as she pulls out a small black velvet bag. ‘Deborah told me to give you this.’

I stare at the bag. ‘What is it?’

‘I got it from that jewellery shop, Cronus, in the Lanes.’

I know it. It’s the one with Poppy’s bumblebee necklace.

‘Open it!’ Dev tells me with all the excitement of a child bringing their first macaroni art home from school.

I do as I’m told, Dev watching as I untie the velvet pouch. I reach inside and pull out a fine silver chain. I hold it up and when the moonlight catches on the small scythe pendant, I almost drop it.

‘We all have one,’ she explains, her voice suddenly tiny as she reaches under the collar of her teddy-bear coat and hooks hers out with her finger. ‘It’s kind of our thing. Esen has one as well.’

I make myself look at it and it’s beautiful, actually. There’s a delicate pattern on the handle and, when I turn it over, I see that my name is engraved on the curve of the blade.