BooksBarbecue
Back This Time Will Be Different Save as PDF
Chapters (77)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. 1
  4. 2
  5. A Series of Screw-ups: The Chisaki Joan Katsuyama Story, Part I
  6. 3
  7. The History of My Beef with Brynn Foer-Preston
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part I
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part I
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part II
  20. 13
  21. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part II
  22. 14
  23. 15
  24. 16
  25. 17
  26. 18
  27. 19
  28. The Complicated History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Imaginary Relationship with Her Nonexistent Dad
  29. 20
  30. 21
  31. 22
  32. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part III
  33. 23
  34. 24
  35. 25
  36. A Brief, Backward History of the McAllister Family, as Paraphrased from the San Jose Mercury News
  37. 26
  38. 27
  39. 28
  40. A Quick and Eerily Relevant History of Asians in America
  41. 29
  42. 30
  43. 31
  44. 32
  45. 33
  46. 34
  47. 35
  48. 36
  49. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part IV
  50. 37
  51. 38
  52. 39
  53. 40
  54. 41
  55. 42
  56. 43
  57. 44
  58. A Series of Screw-ups: The Chisaki Joan Katsuyama Story, Part II (Or Maybe It’s a Prequel)
  59. 45
  60. 46
  61. 47
  62. 48
  63. 49
  64. 50
  65. 51
  66. 52
  67. 53
  68. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part III
  69. 54
  70. A Note from the Author
  71. Index of Flowers and their Meanings
  72. Acknowledgments
  73. About the Author
  74. Praise for This Time Will Be Different
  75. Books by Misa Sugiura
  76. Back Ad
  77. About the Publisher

Reluctantly, I say good night and go inside to my room. I’m finishing up the last of some history reading when I hear a knock on my door, and Mom appears, wearing a PRINCETON LACROSSE T-shirt and pajama pants.

“You got a moment?” she asks.

I nod, and she leans on my dresser and waits while I shut my laptop and put my history textbook away. Inside my skull, my mind is racing: Is she mad at me? Is she hurt? Is she going to tell me about Trey’s decision?

“That was quite a stunt you pulled at MVC today,” she says, at last.

That doesn’t give me much to go on. “I know,” I say. “I’m sorry. Do you hate me?”

“Of course not, don’t be ridiculous,” she retorts, and I relax a little.

“Okay. I thought you might be mad at me.”

She crosses her arms and says drily, “Oh, I was mad. What you did was rude to Trey and Alice, embarrassing to me, and inconsiderate to the building staff who had to deal with the flowers. I spent a lot of time apologizing to a lot of people on your behalf. Not to mention it went directly against what I asked you to do.”

I knew it. I knew it was a bad idea.

“I’m not mad anymore, though.” She smiles. “In fact, I’m proud of you, kiddo. I just wanted to let you know.”

Oh my god. This can only mean one thing. “Did Trey agree to pay for the name change?”

“Oh. Um.” Mom hesitates before saying, “He didn’t tell me, but to be honest, your chances aren’t great that he’ll personally bankroll the whole thing.”

My heart sinks, and I realize that I’d been building up hope despite myself. Another crushing defeat for CJ. “Then why—?”

“Because you saw a creative solution to your problem and used what you had and went after it, even though it was risky. You were audacious and you were smart and you were resourceful, and I’m proud of you for that.”

I want so much to enjoy this weird pocket in time where Mom is actually telling me in actual words that she’s proud of me—proud. Of me. I try to take the compliment in. I try to bask in it like sunshine. But I can’t, because I’m stuck on the fact that I failed, and her praise feels like a consolation prize: Nice try. Better luck next time.

“What’s wrong?” she says. “I thought you’d be happy to hear that I was proud of you.”