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Back This Time Will Be Different Save as PDF
Chapters (77)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. 1
  4. 2
  5. A Series of Screw-ups: The Chisaki Joan Katsuyama Story, Part I
  6. 3
  7. The History of My Beef with Brynn Foer-Preston
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part I
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part I
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part II
  20. 13
  21. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part II
  22. 14
  23. 15
  24. 16
  25. 17
  26. 18
  27. 19
  28. The Complicated History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Imaginary Relationship with Her Nonexistent Dad
  29. 20
  30. 21
  31. 22
  32. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part III
  33. 23
  34. 24
  35. 25
  36. A Brief, Backward History of the McAllister Family, as Paraphrased from the San Jose Mercury News
  37. 26
  38. 27
  39. 28
  40. A Quick and Eerily Relevant History of Asians in America
  41. 29
  42. 30
  43. 31
  44. 32
  45. 33
  46. 34
  47. 35
  48. 36
  49. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part IV
  50. 37
  51. 38
  52. 39
  53. 40
  54. 41
  55. 42
  56. 43
  57. 44
  58. A Series of Screw-ups: The Chisaki Joan Katsuyama Story, Part II (Or Maybe It’s a Prequel)
  59. 45
  60. 46
  61. 47
  62. 48
  63. 49
  64. 50
  65. 51
  66. 52
  67. 53
  68. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part III
  69. 54
  70. A Note from the Author
  71. Index of Flowers and their Meanings
  72. Acknowledgments
  73. About the Author
  74. Praise for This Time Will Be Different
  75. Books by Misa Sugiura
  76. Back Ad
  77. About the Publisher

“Not to gloat? I broke up with Brynn—isn’t that what you wanted? You were right, I was wrong. You must be so happy.”

The venom in her voice is overwhelming. I hardly know what to say.

“I’m not happy. I didn’t want you to break up—”

Emily scoffs. “Ha.”

“Okay. Maybe I did. I didn’t want you to be with Brynn. But I was wrong.” When she says nothing, I add, “I was wrong about a lot.”

“Yeah, well. We both were.” Em lifts her face. Her eyes are red from crying. She still won’t look at me.

“I’m sorry.”

Em shakes her head. “Sorry doesn’t do any good. It doesn’t change anything. Brynn still threw me under the bus in eighth grade and never told me. You only told me out of, like, spite or something.”

I hate that I can’t defend myself. I hate that she’s right.

“Why did you wait till it was going to really hurt me?” she asks. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“I tried, though. The night of the school board meeting. You told me you didn’t want to hear it. Remember?”

“No,” she says, exasperated. “Like way before. Like when it happened.”

I sigh, thinking back. “You were already so sad. What was I going to do—say, ‘Oh, and also, people are laughing at you behind your back’? That would have been cruel.”

Em pulls at the carpet. “Maybe.”

“And then, I dunno. It’s not something you just bring up randomly. And when you and Brynn started talking, I thought . . . I guess I thought I was holding back and not being petty.”

“Until you told me for completely petty reasons.”

“Yeah, well. Go big or go home, right?”

Emily rolls her eyes.

“Brynn said that you broke up with her because of the promposal, though.”

“Well, yeah. Because I was already upset with her about what you told me. She explained her reasons, and everything, but I wasn’t ready to forgive her yet. And then she went and did that huge promposal, with newspaper reporters and everything, like using me as a prop for her big historic first-lesbian-prom-queen moment was going to make up for humiliating me and lying to me.”

“Yeah . . . about that.” I take a breath and get ready to make a case for Brynn. I’m still not sure I can do it, but I said I’d try.