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Back The Secret Save as PDF
Chapters (80)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise for Debbie Howells
  3. Readers gave The Vow five stars …
  4. Dedication
  5. Niamh
  6. Chapter One
  7. Niamh
  8. Chapter Two
  9. Niamh
  10. Chapter Three
  11. Chapter Four
  12. Niamh
  13. Chapter Five
  14. Niamh
  15. Chapter Six
  16. Chapter Seven
  17. Chapter Eight
  18. Chapter Nine
  19. Niamh
  20. Chapter Ten
  21. Chapter Eleven
  22. Niamh
  23. Chapter Twelve
  24. Chapter Thirteen
  25. Chapter Fourteen
  26. Chapter Fifteen
  27. Niamh
  28. Chapter Sixteen
  29. Chapter Seventeen
  30. Chapter Eighteen
  31. Niamh
  32. Chapter Nineteen
  33. Chapter Twenty
  34. Chapter Twenty-One
  35. Chapter Twenty-Two
  36. Niamh
  37. Chapter Twenty-Three
  38. Chapter Twenty-Four
  39. Chapter Twenty-Five
  40. Chapter Twenty-Six
  41. Niamh
  42. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  43. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  44. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  45. Niamh
  46. Chapter Thirty
  47. Chapter Thirty-One
  48. Chapter Thirty-Two
  49. Chapter Thirty-Three
  50. Chapter Thirty-Four
  51. Niamh
  52. Chapter Thirty-Five
  53. Chapter Thirty-Six
  54. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  55. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  56. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  57. Chapter Forty
  58. Chapter Forty-One
  59. Niamh
  60. Chapter Forty-Two
  61. Chapter Forty-Three
  62. Niamh
  63. Chapter Forty-Four
  64. Chapter Forty-Five
  65. Chapter Forty-Six
  66. Niamh
  67. Chapter Forty-Seven
  68. Chapter Forty-Eight
  69. Chapter Forty-Nine
  70. Niamh
  71. Chapter Fifty
  72. Niamh
  73. Chapter Fifty-One
  74. Chapter Fifty-Two
  75. Niamh
  76. Keep Reading …
  77. Acknowledgements
  78. About the Author
  79. Also by Debbie Howells
  80. About the Publisher

‘Niamh …’ Beside her, I’m frozen. I’d been so convinced I was doing what we both wanted. Now, I don’t know what to say to her. ‘We’ll have a lovely home. It will be happy …’ I’m so desperate for her to believe me.

She sobs harder. ‘No …’

‘I don’t understand.’ I’m utterly bewildered. ‘He’s hateful to you, Niamh. To both of us.’ Or is it that she’s used to it? It’s what we’re both used to, after all. She doesn’t know any other way to be. The thought horrifies me, and I understand how blind I’ve been; how damaged she’s become because of me and Andrew. I sit on the edge of my daughter’s bed, thinking of what she’s seen and heard, how she’s lost her brother, and now Hollie, and in that moment, I recognise that she’s more frightened of Andrew than I’d known.

Niamh

Sometimes it isn’t possible not to hurt people. But life is a dilemma of impossible choices – between right and wrong, between what to tell and what must forever remain a secret.

Hollie knew that. Even when she wanted to put things right, she couldn’t. Too much had happened. The damage ran too deep.

My dilemma is my parents. The light shining in my mother’s eyes when she told me she’d found a cottage for us to move to. The happy life she imagines for the two of us, in which everything will change. Light that I know will be shattered by my father’s cruelty, his darkness. My father will find a way to stop her. He won’t let us leave. He’ll do anything, including hurt her, if that’s what it takes to make us stay.

There is no escape from my father. So, this is my dilemma. What matters most? Who is more important? Do I go with my mother, knowing my father will destroy her, or do I stay and let him destroy me instead?

I have to stop her. I have no choice, because otherwise he will kill her, just like he killed Dylan with the blunt words, the rejection, the hatred and the cruelty that leave no physical trace. Not that he’d admit it, instead blaming the pills my mother left out the morning Dylan took an overdose.

But she wasn’t the one who left them out. It was my father. He doesn’t care about lying, or who he hurts to get what he wants. He doesn’t care if people die. My father is capable of anything.

Chapter Thirty-Five

Elise