And I leaned in until my lips touched his, barely touched. Then touched again. He took another breath and I could feel it and I kissed him again, and then again and again. My heart was pounding and the blood was rushing through my veins but I wasn’t scared. I wasn’t scared and I wasn’t safe. I was completely and undeniably and impossibly alive.

EPILOGUE

EPILOGUE

Dear Lina,

I thought the point of a destination wedding was that you didn’t need to go on a honeymoon. I miss you.

I got Rachel’s job, as if there was any doubt. I start Wednesday. You two will have to come in for dinner and see me be in charge. I’ll smuggle you a free cocktail.

Also, because I know you want to know. Yes, we are. Yes, I talked to Georgia about it and she thinks it’s okay. No, I don’t have any idea what I’m doing. And yes, it’s all your fault.

I just know, L. Like you said. I’m terrified but I know.

I hope you’re having an amazing time and doing lots of not talking.

Love you,

C xxx

PS Thank you. I don’t know how to say it enough. I never will. Thank you. I owe you.

Dear Lina,

I’m so sorry. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m sorry I can’t be there. I’m just sorry in general. Life is a bitch. You don’t deserve this. Nobody does, but after everything, it is so fucking unfair. You, of all people, don’t deserve this. And I know you know this, I hope you do, but what you said on the phone this morning—you’re wrong. Matt loves you. He always will. He doesn’t blame you. He loves you so much. I can see it every time I look at you two. I can’t imagine how this feels but that is one thing I know.

And please don’t worry about me. Everything is so weird. I miss Sawyer’s. Tom’s at work all the time and I’m so scared he’s going to get sick and this apartment is so quiet. Everything is so quiet, but I’m okay. I promise.

I love you. Call me if you need me. Call me anyway.

Love you.

C xxx

LINA!

I was about to start my shift when I got your message and I just started jumping up and down on the spot until Nic threatened to fire me. I’m so happy for you. So happy. Thank God. I’m so excited. I know it’s only a blur on a screen but it’s so beautiful. You’re going to make the best mum.