Also, I know you’ve got months and months to decide but I think Caitlin is a great name if it’s a girl. I’ll tell you more when I come round on Sunday.

It’s so strange being back here, still. It’s the same, but different. There are fewer tables so it’s quieter than it used to be, but maybe that’s okay. Everyone’s talking about things going back to normal but I don’t know what normal is anymore.

Love you,

C xxx

PS Hug Matt too. I’m so happy I’m crying among the garbage bins. Just like old times. God. XXXXX

Dear Tom,

I’m at the top of the Empire State Building. It’s windy, and cold, and my legs hurt from all the walking I’ve done, but I’m so stupidly happy I can’t stop smiling. I look like such a tourist. This whole city is everything I wanted it to be. After all these years of building it up in my head and then worrying that it was gone forever—maybe it’s not the place I’d imagined, but it’s still so amazing, everything I’ve ever wanted. Nearly everything.

I miss you. I wish you were here. I know it was my decision, but God I wish you were here.

I know maybe you didn’t get why I had to do this on my own. I know it’s probably stupid, and I know I’m being selfish. I just had to know that I could, after everything. It was the first thing I wanted so much it hurt. You’re the second. I love you.

I love you so much.

Caitlin

PS By my maths, you’re getting on a plane right about now. Travel safe. I’ll be waiting for you at JFK and I don’t think I’ll be able to breathe until I see you so hurry up and get here. We have so much to do.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS