I nodded. ‘Yeah, will do.’ I made a show of emptying my glass then glancing up at the clock above the door. ‘Hey, I’ve got to go. Buses are a nightmare at this time of day, and I can’t be late on a Saturday.’

Dad shook his head as I stood up. ‘I wish you didn’t work in that place. The restaurant business is so seedy.’

I shrugged, putting my phone into my pocket and hoisting my bag onto my shoulder. ‘I like it,’ I said, turning and walking away.

I heard Mum say something as I left, but I kept going, my eyes on the hard concrete floor, wondered what would happen if I tripped and fell, slammed into it head first.

4 SUNDAY, APRIL

4

SUNDAY, APRIL

I did like Sawyer’s, honestly. It kept me busy, kept me moving, kept my mind still. It was always the same, even when it wasn’t; even after Dex, when Lenny stopped speaking to me and Nic started asking if I was okay, it was the same, and eventually I was okay and it all went back to normal. My normal. Work. After-work drinks—maybe too many. Sleep—sometimes. The newbs came and went and the menu changed every three months but the machine churned on, taking me with it.

Still, it was seedy. Dad wasn’t wrong about that.

Behind her back, Dex called Emma ‘Barbie’, and I wondered what he called her to her face. Every time she passed the kitchen his eyes followed her, and when I caught him at it he raised an eyebrow, daring me to say something.

‘She’s nineteen,’ is what I did say, while sorting a crate full of empty bottles for recycling. It was nearly ten and the dinner rush was over and I’d survived, somehow. I’d hardly slept—again—and I’d lost count of how many cups of coffee I’d had. My heartbeat was messy, skittering around my chest like an oversized, overshot pinball, my stomach a tangle of knots wound so tight there wasn’t any point even trying to force food into it. Every time I blinked my eyelids threatened to stick shut. I’d had to prise one open with my fingers earlier.

He just shook his head. He was prepping for the week ahead, mindlessly chopping mushrooms and tossing them into a white bucket. Just the sight of them made my tongue curl in disgust.

‘You’re gross.’

‘And you’re jealous.’

‘Get fucked.’

‘Gladly.’ He smirked, and then lifted his head. ‘Hey, Blondie!’

I turned around, my question answered. She was at the pass, waiting for a plate to complete an order, her blonde hair swinging down her back. Wide-eyed and fine-featured.

‘Yeah?’ She had studs in her ears, and I was willing to bet they were real diamonds.

‘You staying for drinks tonight?’